Talane’s November 2010 Newsletter
The Art of Emotional Detachment
There is a Taoist principle that if you detach from the results you are much more likely to do well. When we try too hard, push or force to get something or achieve a result, it can repel the very thing or person you most want. Anxiety, tension and pressure lead to poor performance, whether in business or sports. The key is to develop a love of what you are doing without the emotional attachment to the results. Easier said than done when you want something so badly you can taste it!
My own personal take on this ancient philosophy is to add a positive twist to it. My approach to life is that “It is all good, even the bad stuff.” By anticipating that something good will come out of something that appears “bad” I believe I am setting myself up to attract something positive. Or, at the very least I'll think about how a negative event or situation can be turned into a positive. (Okay, so if I'm laid up in bed sick, this must be an opportunity to reflect on life, come up with a new book idea, etc.)
Think about it. Many mistakes have gone on to become huge successes. The chocolate chip cookie was a mistake and what a lovely one! The Post-it™ note was a failed glue that didn't quite stick. Would the old man have seen the potential Post-it™ note success if he had only remained neutral? It may be the surest way to prevent disappointment, but what if you actively engage in turning a negative into a positive? The person who made the failed glue must have had the thought “Hmm... okay, so it isn't really that sticky, but how could that be useful?”
What if we embraced our mistakes and worst problems and dug around to find out how they might be turned into something even better?
Enjoy!
Talane
Talane Miedaner, MCC
Author of the international best seller, Coach Yourself to Success (McGraw-Hill, Jan 2000) and The Secret Laws of AttractionThe Art of Emotional Detachment
There is a Taoist principle that if you detach from the results you are much more likely to do well. When we try too hard, push or force to get something or achieve a result, it can repel the very thing or person you most want. Anxiety, tension and pressure lead to poor performance, whether in business or sports. The key is to develop a love of what you are doing without the emotional attachment to the results. Easier said than done when you want something so badly you can taste it!
One way to reduce our attachment is to stop judging what is happening. What if it just is what is and isn't good or bad? A classic Taoist story demonstrates this beautifully:
A very old Chinese man and his young son lived during a period of much civil strife. They were considered rich by the villagers because they owned a horse. One morning, the son awoke to find his horse had run away. Running to his father, he informed him of this tragedy, saying this was the worst thing that could have happened. His father, in all his wisdom, replied, "Is that so? How do you know what it means?" The next day, as the boy was working in the barn, he heard the sound of horses galloping in the distance. When he looked up he saw his horse leading a herd of wild ponies to him. Seeing this, he ran to the house shouting, "The horse has come back leading a herd. This is the greatest thing that's ever happened!" In all his wisdom, the old man replied once again: "Is that so? How do you know what it means?" That afternoon, the boy decided to tame one of the ponies. As he proudly sat atop the new-found gift, the horse bucked, thro wing the boy to the ground causing a broken collarbone and a fractured arm. As he was placed in his bed by his father, he said, "All those horses coming – that's the worst thing that could have happened." Once again, the old man spoke: "Is that so? How do you know what it means?" The next day, father and son were abruptly awakened by the sound of militia knocking on their door. They were here to take the boy to fight in the civil war. The old man said, "There he is, take him." The captain took one look and said, "He's useless to us," and left. The boy said, "This is the best luck I've ever had." And the old man, in his wisdom replied, "Is that so? How do you know what it means?”*
My own personal take on this ancient philosophy is to add a positive twist to it. My approach to life is that “It is all good, even the bad stuff.” By anticipating that something good will come out of something that appears “bad” I believe I am setting myself up to attract something positive. Or, at the very least I'll think about how a negative event or situation can be turned into a positive. (Okay, so if I'm laid up in bed sick, this must be an opportunity to reflect on life, come up with a new book idea, etc.)
Think about it. Many mistakes have gone on to become huge successes. The chocolate chip cookie was a mistake and what a lovely one! The Post-it™ note was a failed glue that didn't quite stick. Would the old man have seen the potential Post-it™ note success if he had only remained neutral? It may be the surest way to prevent disappointment, but what if you actively engage in turning a negative into a positive? The person who made the failed glue must have had the thought “Hmm... okay, so it isn't really that sticky, but how could that be useful?”
What if we embraced our mistakes and worst problems and dug around to find out how they might be turned into something even better?
Enjoy!
Talane
* Story excerpted from Thinking Body, Dancing Mind by Chungliang Al Huang and Jerry Lynch.
.. Talane Miedaner, MCC
Get free coaching tips at LifeCoach.com
Copyright © 2010 by Talane LLC. All rights reserved.
Coach Yourself to Success Online
Special Introductory Offer - $1 for first 30 days ($19.95 regular price after 30 days)
For years I've had a vision of being able to provide affordable coaching for everyone who wants it. I'm delighted to announce that this vision is now a reality – LifeCoach.com is full of resources, free tips, quizzes, success stories, coaching programs, phone classes and best of all – a brand new, life-changing, 52-week coaching program, Coach Yourself to Success Online. Now you too can experience the benefits of life coaching at a very affordable fee. Check it out and let me know what you thinkTalane's Newsletter
Faye Morgan, Editor faye@lifecoach.com
Talane Coaching Company
www.LifeCoach.com
1-888-4-TALANE (1-888-482-5263) or 407-628-2909
Faye Morgan, Editor faye@lifecoach.com
Talane Coaching Company
www.LifeCoach.com
1-888-4-TALANE (1-888-482-5263) or 407-628-2909
Greetings! Very helpful advice on this article! It is the little changes that make the biggest changes. Thanks a lot for sharing!
ReplyDeleteRegards:
life coach