Tip of the Week : Clear the Clutter

Talane’s Coaching Tip for the Week, December 8, 2009
Clear the Clutter

Many thanks to all of you who so kindly completed the Life Coaching Survey! It has been very helpful and I was amazed to discover that many of you have been following my tips for years! I'm deeply flattered and will no longer use my “Classic Tips” to tide over my summer holidays.

Then I had a big laugh when I discovered that clearing clutter was one of the most popular areas of interest–"like" truly does "attract like". I'm a died-in-the-wool packrat and tend to keep things rather than toss them with the result that I must constantly edit my own life. In fact, before I could write this tip with any sort of integrity, I spent a good hour tidying up my office! And that, in fact, is a useful tip. People who have tidy spaces do spend time tidying them. I always seem to find something more exciting or interesting to do!

If I could shed any light on the subject it would be this: our brains really are hard-wired to be one way or the other–either a packrat with the natural tendency to save stuff or a minimalist with the natural tendency to discard stuff. (We can even test for this on a computerized assessment!) If you are struggling with clutter it is because you are wired that way. It is unlikely that you'll every find it easy to get rid of stuff. Consequently, the fastest and easiest way to get rid of the clutter is to find someone who is naturally wired to discard stuff to come over to your home and/or office and help you. Your natural tendency will be to shift things around, not toss. Ask a tidy/organized friend to come over and help you eliminate the excess. Most people who are tidy love to clear out messes and can do it in a fraction of the time that you can. So why not let them have a go? If you don't have any friends or neighbors of this stripe, then you can hire a professional organizer. Or even hire a neighborhood kid to come over and help you out. The worst strategy is to do it alone as you are likely to get bogged down quickly.

That being said, if you want to give it a go yourself, start with one small pocket of clutter. Decide to clear out one dresser drawer or the kitchen junk drawer. Don't go crazy and tear through the whole house or you may end up completely overwhelmed. This week just pick one small area to declutter and enjoy the process!

Warmest,

Talane

P.S. Clearing clutter is a great way to make room for the new and what a great time to do this at year end! Stay tuned for more tips next week!


Copyright © 2009 by Talane LLC. All rights reserved.

Top Ten for a Terrific Holiday Season

Top Ten for a Terrific Holiday Season

December 2009

1. Use the Joy Filter for decision-making.

If someone invites you to something ask yourself, "Will this add joy to my life?" If not, decline. You don’t have to go to every single holiday party you are invited to. Stop sending holiday cards unless you love to do it. It is a pleasure to receive a personal card, but why bother sending a rubber-stamped, printed signature card? Just pick ten people who are special to you and send them a hand-written card. Do only what you find joyful and you are guaranteed a terrific holiday season!
2. Forgive and make amends.

If someone has done something that hurt you, now is the time to call and forgive them. If you have done anything hurtful or damaging to another, make amends even if it wasn’t intentional. Call or write the people you may have offended, apologize and ask them how you can make it up to them. If you wore your friend’s favorite sweater and then spilled catsup on it, it isn’t enough to say "I’m terribly sorry." Buy a new sweater and apologize! You will feel much happier immediately!
3. Get the whole family involved.

Have your kids address the Christmas or Chanukah cards. Have everyone coming to dinner bring a dish. Let the kids make the ornaments and bake the cookies. The holiday preparations can be a burden if you are doing everything by yourself, but lots of fun when everyone pitches in.
4. Take time for yourself every day.

Many people get depressed during the holidays. This year just make sure that every single day you have something to look forward to. It doesn’t have to be something big and expensive. It can be a hot bath, a new magazine or a phone call to a friend. Most people get so busy in the holidays that they forget to enjoy themselves. If you always go to the gym and work out, don’t quit just because it is the holidays.
5. Keep your perspective.

Go with flow. Everything isn’t going to go according to plan so don’t get your hair in a net if cousin Jean doesn’t like her gift or Uncle Carl didn’t remember to send you a Christmas card. Remember the bottom line is to have fun. If the turkey is burnt to a crisp, order a pizza. Forget having a Martha Stewart Christmas. She puts each strand of tinsel on one at a time. It is okay if you just toss it on in globs.
6. Hire it out.

This is usually the busiest time of the year and most people find themselves doing more entertaining than any other time. Why not hire a housekeeper every week during the month of December so that you will feel free to relax and enjoy your friends and family instead of worrying whether the dust bunnies are escaping. If you don’t like wrapping presents have somebody else do it. Hate to cook? Order a ham or turkey cooked by your favorite grocery or restaurant.
7. Simplify your gift giving.

Use a gift registry service (available at Sears) so that your friends and family don’t waste any more time or money buying things you don’t really want or need. As my grandma says, " I’m all for people telling me what they want so it is easy." Or pick out a great gift for all the men and another for all the women and give everyone the same thing this year.
8. Examine your holiday traditions.

Ask everyone in your family what are the three most important things that really make the holiday special. Then focus on those things. You may discover that nobody really wants all those holiday cookies, but really love the tree decorating party. Do what makes the holiday special and forget the rest of the stuff. One really memorable activity or event is what really makes a holiday. You don’t have to do it all.
9. Be an angel.

Go out of your way once this holiday season to do a good deed for someone else. Bring cookies to the retirement home in your community, slip a dollar into the Salvation Army bucket, bring leftover turkey dinner to the guy who works at the all night gas station. Do some small thing to help another or brighten someone’s day that you wouldn’t normally do.
10. Set up an automatic holiday savings account.

It may be too late for this year, but you can get a jump on next year by setting up an automatic savings plan at your bank. They will debit your account and put a fixed dollar amount in your savings account every month. This way you will have a ready stash of cash for the holidays next year!


To all my readers,

For the first time in twelve years, I've created a Life Coaching Survey. I would be very grateful if you took a few minutes to complete this survey online. I'm very interested in hearing what is important to you so that I can make my tips more relevant and useful to you in the coming year.

Thank you in advance for your help with this!

Warmest,
Talane

P.S. Here is the link for the survey: SURVEY


Talane Miedaner, MCC
Author of the international best seller, Coach Yourself to Success (McGraw-Hill, Jan 2000) and The Secret Laws of Attraction
Get free coaching tips at Lifecoach.com

An Artist's Date

Talane's Tip of the Week, Nov 19, 2009

An Artist's Date

My husband took me to London on Monday to see Pink Martini in concert at the Apollo Hammersmith-- and they were absolutely fabulous! Best concert I've been to since the Rolling Stones in New York City. Of course, it helps that they are my favorite band.(One of the best compliments I've ever received was when a dear friend in Portland, OR introduced me to Pink Martini's first album and told me that if I were a set of songs—this would be me. I have to agree-- a bit old-fashioned, but at the same time completely new and fresh—lots of international flavor grounded in an optimistic American base—happy, fun and upbeat with a few dashes of sadness thrown in for good measure.)

The following morning we went to the Courtauld Museum, which is rated as one of the world's finest small museums with lots of fine impressionist works. Lovely and inspiring!

I left London feeling completely inspired! One of the tips in The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron that I've always enjoyed doing is going on a weekly artist's date. This is a date that you may go on by yourself that has the sole purpose of nurturing your creative side. You can go to a museum, take a walk in nature, play with paints, take a bubble bath, see a concert—anything that you feel like doing at the time. It works! Seeing great works of art and hearing great concerts does satisfy the senses at a very deep level and it feeds your creative side. It is hard not to feel inspired to do something creative afterwards!

Take yourself ( and why not grab a friend?) out for an artist's date this week!

Enjoy!

Talane

P.S. I'm deeply interested in hearing what you'd like me to write about in the coming year. To that end, I've created a survey and would very much appreciate it if you took a few minutes to complete it. It will help me to know what topics and goals are most important to you right now and what you'd like me to cover in my weekly tips and monthly newsletters. I am writing for you, after all, so it would make sense to find out what you are keen to learn more about.

Thanks in advance for your input! Here is the link to the survey to copy and paste into your wed address bar:
http://tinyurl.com/y8hd8ef


http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=ItFnsql4Fo07MNWH6r87pw_3d_3d

Scientific Fact: Your Thoughts Are Real.

Talane's November 2009 Newsletter
Scientific Fact: Your Thoughts are Real

I just finished reading Dan Brown's latest work of fiction, The Lost Symbol, and noticed that he mentions in the beginning of the book that certain buildings are in fact real and do exist—buildings that I had never heard of or noticed in spite of having lived in Washington, D.C. for eight years. But what struck me as much more interesting was that he writes about a scientist who is doing cutting edge research to prove that our thoughts are real and interact directly with the physical universe as if this were the fiction when it is already a proven, scientific fact reported in the April 5, 1999, Newsweek article, “Thinking Will Make it So” by Sharon Begley. I quoted this article in Tip 101 of my first book, Coach Yourself to Success (McGraw-Hill, Jan 2000) because at the time I read this article I was absolutely blown away—scientific proof that thoughts are real! Wow! I couldn't understand why the war in Bosnia was getting the cover story when this seemed to be the really big news. Perhaps there were other earlier instances of scientific evidence proving this, but this was the first I had heard of it so it was news to me. To recap briefly, in case you don't have my book or the article on hand, Begley describes how thoughts are electrical signals that can be picked up by an electroencephalograph (EEG) to control mechanical equipment. Neurobiologist Niels Birbaumer of Germany's University of Tubingen has six patients with sound minds trapped in completely paralyzed bodies. Living with the aid of machines, these patients are wired to a “thought translation device” which amplifies their brain waves (thoughts) and enables them to select letters of the alphabet from a computer video screen and compose sentences. Here's how they did it: Tubingen's team placed electrodes behind the patient's ear and on the scalp. The electrodes are designed to detect brain waves and carry them to an EEG, which picks out a single type of wave from the many waves, much like you would tune in a radio to pick up a favorite station. After hundreds of hours of practice the patients learn to control their brain waves, by focusing on an audio tone. Once they master this they can spell out words on a video screen using only their thoughts. They were working on going wireless so I'm guessing they probably have by now, which would mean that these patients are using thoughts alone. I don't know about you, but I found this absolutely amazing and still can't figure out why this news hasn't been trumpeted around the world—our thoughts are very real indeed. So Dan Brown's book may be much closer to truth than he is letting on.
The next question is what are the implications of this fact? So what if our thoughts are real? What difference does that make? Well, for starters, now it is imperative to eliminate those negative thoughts. Our negative thoughts are our own worst enemies. One way to eliminate a negative thought is to catch yourself having one and then say, “Cancel. Cancel.” (You can do this silently so people don't think you are nuts.) Although now my husband even does it to me if I say something negative. The other way is to get to the source of the negativity and eliminate it. This is why it is so important to eliminate all those petty annoyances (Tip 1 in Coach Yourself to Success). Work through the steps of the coaching program and you will learn to attract what you want without much work—thinking will make it so. I'm still refining and simplifying this process, but most of my clients experience this as a natural by-product of the coaching program. It seems like magic to have the power to manifest what you desire just by thinking about it, but it isn't because our thoughts are real—and this isn't a secret! The steps I outline in Coach Yourself to Success are simple, practical and anyone can do them. The more you practice, the stronger and more powerful your thoughts will become—like muscle building.
Food for thought!
Talane
P.S. If anyone has read of other scientific proof that our thoughts are real, please send me the article as I'd love to learn more. In fact, I wonder if they did in fact go wireless in Germany? Does anyone know? Please email me at talane@lifecoach.com.
P.P.S. I've been working on an exciting, new interactive life coaching program to be released in January 2010

101 great tips can be found in the book Coach Yourself to Success by Talane Miedaner. Copyright © 2000 McGraw Hill
Also, exclusively from Talane Coaching Company – the Coach Yourself to Success Workbook, filled with tips, ideas and work pages. To order, visit www.lifecoach.com.

What Happens When You Are On The Path Of Attraction.

I recently unearthed an email from Thomas Leonard, one of the founders of coaching, about the realities of becoming irresistibly attractive. The first thing to understand is that while there is work to do in becoming attractive, it is a way of being, not doing. In other words, you’ll just show up being a very attractive person and won’t have to work at being attractive. It isn’t something you can force or fake. You’ll know you’ve arrived when you start having a notion of what you want and then attract it effortlessly. The more attractive you become, the more quickly and easily you’ll attract new people and better opportunities in life. If you strive, struggle, push, press, persuade, manipulate, sell or seduce you aren’t being attractive. That being said, Thomas felt “marketing shamelessly” was attractive. The key is to not only be attractive, but also get exposure. You need to make it easy for people to find you whether you are looking for the ideal relationship, the ideal career or the ideal home. Here are some realities along the path of becoming irresistibly attractive:

This isn’t a quick fix. It may take 6-12 months or more to switch from being in a chasing mode to an attracting mode. Stick with it. You’ll start to notice changes immediately though.
You’ll get pleasure and joy from adding value to others rather than scoring big or winning. It is a quieter approach to life so you may miss the drama of the highs and lows initially. Although I personally find attracting things very exciting!
Being irresistibly attractive is not a system or a technique, it is a way of life that you’ll grow into.
When you find your old ways of reaching a goal distasteful even when they may have worked extremely well for you – such as striving, chasing, selling, persuading, manipulating, etc. – you are on the way!
The people you spend time with may change. Not everyone may be willing to respect and honor your new boundaries and standards. That is okay. You can just gently let the relationship go as you grow in different directions. You may attract fewer people to you, but they’ll be great people!
Goals you may have held dear may lose their appeal. As you simplify your life and orient around your core values, you’ll find that many goals no longer apply. Initially you may feel a sense of loss as you let these old goals and wants go. You’ll be running on less adrenaline so life may not feel as exciting or rushed. You may even need to experience some boredom before you find real peace. Be willing to go through it all until the attraction kicks in.
Alternatively, you may keep the same goals, but approach them in a very different manner. You’ll strive less, enjoy the process more. Your goals may become much much bigger but you’ll find achieving them easier, more effortless, and fun. When you start attracting the really big stuff, it does feel like magic! Or a divine blessing!
You’ll go back and forth between your old way and the new way. This is normal so don’t worry about it. Better to ease into being attractive than to strive, struggle or try to acquire it (you’ve missed the point if you aren’t enjoying the process!)
Your relationship to money will shift. You’ll be much more responsible about money. It isn’t about hoping to attract money, it is about earning money in very efficient ways. If you are struggling with money issues, you’ve skipped something. Go back to the basics and work on the book, How to Get out of Debt, Stay out of Debt and Live Prosperously by Jerrold Mundis. Simplify your life some more. And, get your emotional and personal needs met so they don’t drive you to spend or self-medicate with money. (The Secret Laws of Attraction by Talane Miedaner).
Take your cues from the present and go with the flow instead of setting future goals. You’ll be fully present and find all the opportunities you need right in front of you!
Warmest,
Talane

Copyright © 2008 by Talane LLC. All rights reserved.

Make More Mistakes!

Talane’s Coaching Tip for the Week, October 26, 2009
Make More Mistakes


“While one person hesitates because he feels inferior, the other is busy making mistakes and becoming superior.”
—Henry C. Link
I was talking to one of my clients today and she mentioned that she was afraid of making mistakes in her business — of investing time and money into something that may not eventually pan out. I reassured her that yes, she probably will make mistakes, but that isn't a bad thing and not something to be afraid of.

Thomas Edison discovered 1,800 ways not to make a light bulb before he found the way to make it. One of Madame Curie's failures was radium. Christopher Columbus was looking for India when he discovered the new world—big mistake there! Even chocolate chip cookies were a mistake. And there is the now ubiquitous Post-it-Note™—the glue that wasn't sticky enough—another great mistake. Some of the very best inventions and discoveries in the history of the world have been mistakes or failed projects. The great thing about mistakes is that they can lead to a new and different way of thinking or doing what you never would have tried if you had succeeded. Do not fear mistakes; instead see what they can be used for or what new world is being revealed that you didn't see before.

In sales, if you know that you need 100 rejections before you'll get that one customer who says "yes", then you can get excited about every “no” because you know you now need only 98 more to reach a “yes.” If one way isn't working, think positively like Edison—he looked at each failure as learning just one more way that didn't work.

As some famous person once said, “If at first you don't succeed, find out what the losers get.”

What fears of failure have stopped you from doing what you really want?

Enjoy!
Talane

Copyright © 2009 by Talane LLC. All rights reserved.

Just because You Can Do It doesn't Mean You Should!

Talane’s Coaching Tip for the Week, October 19, 2009
Just Because You Can Doesn't Mean You Should

This tips actually came from my older sister who was watching me try to write a book, redesign my website, look after my two girls and build a new house all at once. And the truth of the matter is that I couldn't do all these things at once and in the end, focused on one thing—my book and well, my girls and husband which is actually one thing and three very special people! There is a huge temptation to try to do it all because we want it all—at least I do! The problem comes in trying to do it all at once and that can be just too stressful and actually ineffective. It is much more effective to focus on one thing at a time and get that project done so that it is out there in the world as a finished product. If I didn't finish this latest book, Coach Yourself to a New Career (McGraw-Hill coming the spring of 2010) then you wouldn't be able to read it. I realized I've been scattering my own energies by trying to take on too many goals and projects at once. This just isn't effective. Now I've committed to focusing on just one big goal at a time. What a relief!
This concept applied to one of my clients as well. He had recently decided to get out of one of the businesses he had owned for years. At one time he had really enjoyed this business but he had since become more involved in Mergers and Acquisitions, which was not only more interesting but also highly profitable. So he sold his very solid and profitable business to a dear friend only to find that a few months later his friend became very ill and was in the hospital for three weeks. My client, being a truly kind-hearted man, took over some of the jobs so that he could keep his friend's business running. He was thinking he might even have to buy the business back. I suggested that just because he could run this business and buy it back, doesn't mean that he should—he'd be better off offering to sell the business for his friend.
What are you taking on that you really have no business doing? I have no business trying to build a website because I'm not one bit techy and haven't even figured out how to use my lovely new Mac yet and I've had it a year! If I were so inclined I'd have been tinkering around with it in the evenings and learning how to use all its cool features. If it isn't one of your natural talents or abilities, find someone who is talented and get them to help you with it or do it for you! Are you taking on more than one key goal or project at a time? What can you put on the back burner so that you can enjoy your current project fully?

Enjoy!
Talane
P.S. For the chronically overwhelmed or simply if you'd like to really clear out all the distractions so you can actually focus on one thing, join me in the upcoming Phone Class, The Power of Focus, starting November 3. Only $99 for three weeks and you can participate from the comfort of your home or office as long as you have a land line. For more information please see information on the class and the link below. I'll look forward to meeting you on the call!

Copyright © 2009 by Talane LLC. All rights reserved.

Talane’s Coaching Tip for the Week, October 12, 2009

Talane’s Coaching Tip for the Week, October 12, 2009
Big is Not Always Better

It is easy to get carried away with stuff and there is an underlying assumption in the US that the bigger something is, the better. Living in the UK for the past six years has shown me that this isn't always the case... in fact, over here, they often are suspicious of things that are too big and prefer a much smaller and often more select group. Smaller can be better!

One of my clients couldn't decide whether he should take his successful chiropractic practice to the next level, hire more staff, get bigger premises and really become the biggest practice in his town. Or whether he should go back to being a two doctor practice and simplify and get rid of his big office and staff. We took a look at what his ideal life was and he reported that his favorite thing to do was to bike up to the mountain top and meditate or read. And he liked doing this with his son as well. Not terribly expensive activities, but because he was so busy with managing all his staff, he had very little time to do this simple activity.

So the decision was easy-- go with the smaller office. And he did and had a lot more time to enjoy his favorite activity and to spend with his son. What surpised us both, was that once he got rid of all that overhead, he was more profitable, not less! An unexpected benefit!

When you are true to your self and do what you truly love, you'll have a richer life. And more often than not, you'll find you don't miss the money when you are truly happy or that you actually make more money! You can't go wrong when you follow your values.

Enjoy!

Talane


P.S. If you feel pulled in too many directions at once. If you are overwhelmed with work and can't seem to get out from under, then join me in my upcoming Phone Class, The Power of Focus. We'll streamline your life, cut out all unnecessary distractions and help you focus on what is truly important to you. Three weeks starting on Nov 3rd at 8am est. For more information or to register please go to www.lifecoach.com.



Copyright © 2009 by Talane LLC. All rights reserved.

Unlock your creative side!

Talane’s Coaching Tip for the Week, October 5, 2009
Morning Pages: A Quick Tip from The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron

Whether you are an artist, a writer, or a business person who would like to come up with some creative solutions at work, this tip will work for you. It will work for anyone who wants to tap into their creativity. Every day write three pages. You can do this in a journal or blank book or even on the computer. The point is to do it every day. You don't have to write anything grand. I usually describe my day or what is going on in my life at the time. It can be really boring stuff like I had scrambled eggs and toast for breakfast. In fact, if you can't think of anything at all to write, you can simply fill the pages with “I can't think of anything to write.” The key is to fill those three pages. This was the exercise that led to the writing of my first book, Coach Yourself to Success. Once in the habit of putting pen to paper, it was an easy step to write an entire book. A simple, highly effective technique for tapping into your own creative side! Try it for at least thirty days before you make any decisions about its effectiveness.

Enjoy!

Talane

P.S. If you are interested in this book, check it out. Here is the link: The Artist's Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity [10th Anniversary Edition] by Julia Cameron

Copyright © 2009 by Talane LLC. All rights reserved.

Talane's Coaching Tip for the Week.

ook Review:
The Ultimate Cheapskate's Road Map to True Riches: A Practical (and Fun) Guide to Enjoying Life More by Spending Less
by Jeff Yeager
This summer I read the both hilarious and very sensible book by Jeff Yeager, The Ultimate Cheapskate's Road Map to True Riches: A Practical (and Fun) Guide to Enjoying Life More by Spending Less (Broadway Books, 2008).

Yeager prides himself on being a cheapskate and has been known to not only take his own leftovers home from a dinner out, but also the leftovers of his dining companions! While I'm not prepared to go that far, especially since I don't have a dog as an excuse, he does have some excellent points and the book is a funny and inspiring read with quotes like these sprinkled throughout the book:

“I always stay at the cheapest hotel, so I was surprised to find a mint on my pillow in the evening. Turns out it fell out of the mouth of the guy who slept there the night before.”

“If I hear one more financial pundit tell me I can put my financial house in order simply by giving up a four-dollar cup of Starbucks coffee every day, I'm going to force him to listen to his own audiotapes while I show him photographs of Suze Orman's face photo-shopped onto Halle Berry's body....These types of painless savings schemes appeal to the same people who want to believe that they can get abs of steel by wearing magnetic belts.”

The chances that you will actually take that four dollars you saved from that cup of coffee and invest it at 8% are pretty slim. Yeager points out that if you get the big financial equations right in the first place, you can have as many designer cups of coffee as you want (not that he would ever bring himself to pay that much for a cup of coffee in the first place)! As Yeager says, “In real life it's too easy for the four dollars you saved by not buying your latte this morning to morph into an extra pizza topping this evening.” So true!

He has six golden “nuggets” on getting the big equations handled, for example: One of Yeager's rules is to live within your means at thirty and stay there. How do you do this? First, buy a “starter” home you can live in for the long haul and stay there. So many people have gotten into financial ruin by always buying a bigger house with bigger payments whenever their income increases. They never get ahead as they keep increasing their spending to match their increase in income. In contrast, Yeager bought a “starter” house in a lovely area and has done his own home improvements and extensions over time. (I'm not one bit handy so I hire people to do that sort of thing!) As a result, he has stayed in the same home in a good neighborhood and it has increased in value over time while he has pocketed any increase in income right into savings. And, he also bought a house that he could pay for on his income alone and saved his wife's income. When she wanted to quit her job, he said, no problem because they had been living on one income all along and saving hers. My husband and I do the same. We live on his income and save my income for holidays and retirement savings. Clients of mine figured out that they could be financially independent in ten years if they could live on one income and save the other. A goal well worth going for! The key is to find a lifestyle you are comfortable with and then stay there. Don't keep raising your expenses as your income increases. One of my favorite quotes from Quentin Crisp sums this up:

“Never try to keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level. It's cheaper.”

Another Yeager nugget is to never underestimate the power of not spending. Yeager says, “Spending less is rarely, if ever, a bad thing to do.” He recommends going on a spending fast which I heartily agree with because it is the same advice I've given in my book Coach Yourself to Success—going on a money diet. For thirty days don't buy anything other than groceries and basic essentials like toilet paper and even then you should stock in advance so that you can live without spending for 30 days. Anything that you feel compelled to buy goes on a thirty day list. After thirty days you can review your list and see if you still want those items. I find that either the urge to have it passes in that time or that I never really wanted the thing in the first place or I attract it for free (someone gives it to me). Just this weekend I cleared out all my daughter's old clothes and the drawers were pretty empty and I thought I might have to go out and buy them some new clothes when my friend came and dropped off a huge bag of clothes her daughter had outgrown. I don't need to buy a thing now! Not spending may in fact be a much more effective way of increasing your wealth than trying to make more money.

Yeager points out that the exceptions to his rule that “not spending money is a far more powerful tool for achieving financial freedom than all the books ever written on the subject of how to make more money.” He points out that most people make their money by selling their time, not by investing or leveraging their money or using it to launch a business. And therefore, for the vast majority, spending money is the fastest way to lose money. Right on!

I heartily recommend Yeager's book—full of practical advice and loaded with humor and a strong message to focus on the things that really matter in life—spending time with your friends and families and doing the things you love.

Enjoy!
Talane

P.S. Here is the link to his book if you are interested ... Jeff Yeager, The Ultimate Cheapskate's Road Map to True Riches: A Practical (and Fun) Guide to Enjoying Life More by Spending Less (Broadway Books, 2008)

Soul Story Telling

Talane’s Coaching Tip for the Week, September 28, 2009
Soul Story Telling

Before I went away for vacation this summer, I had the wonderful opportunity to receive a soul story reading from Ronnie Slavis. I've never done this before so I didn't have a clue what to expect and was pleasantly surprised when I heard my story. Ronnie perfectly articulated my unique gift – my special talent is to awaken the excitement in others for what they truly want to do. (Not a bad thing for a life coach to have!) He also revealed in the story that I need to play more and have fun—one of my top values that hasn't been getting enough expression ever since I've had my two girls. How is it that kids love to play more than anything? In fact, they are the embodiment of the power of play and yet I'm playing less than ever – the responsibilities of parenthood no doubt. So with a strong message to play and explore and to try dancing to Gabrielle Roth's Wave dance I made sure I spent my summer playing with the girls on the beach as well as finishing up my next book. And not only did we do the Wave dance together, but we also did some belly dancing, which is rather like it! Apparently, I also have the gift of lucid dreaming, so I'm going to do a bit of research about that and see what that reveals. A fascinating experience and if you are feeling a bit lost or disconnected from your purpose in life, this may be the just the thing for you!

For more information about getting your own soul story contact Ronnie Slavis at www.soulstoryteller.com.

Copyright © 2009 by Talane LLC. All rights reserved.

More on The Power of Focus.

Talane’s Coaching Tip for the Week, September 23, 2009

More on The Power of Focus

As a quick follow-up to last week's tip on only having one big goal, a maximum of three projects (making sure that one of those projects is forwarding your big goal) and keeping a running tab or list of all the other projects in the sidelines....an old friend, Ann Wall, in Miami sent in the following: “What about using the simple method of "one in, one out" same as I try to apply to my shoe wardrobe? That way you have to decide to either give up or complete one goal/project before you start another. That would allow you to reconfirm how important your goal or project is because it "wins out" when compared to possible new projects that come up. Helps strengthen you resolve.”

A great way to handle your shoes as well as your work.

Enjoy!
Talane

P.S. I spent a few hours listing every single project that I could come up with (the entire gamut from organizing the photos into albums to the next book idea) on index cards. I ended up using an entire stack of cards. Now it is easy to shuffle through them and pull out my top three at any time. As new projects or ideas occur to me, I give each one a separate index card and put it in the stack.

P.P.S And, an old coaching rule of thumb; if you have had any goal for over a year and haven't taken any real action to achieve it or move it forward, toss out that goal (it's dead!) and pick one that actually excites or interests you instead! You'll feel better immediately.

Copyright © 2009 by Talane LLC. All rights reserved.

Talane's Coaching Tip for the Week.

Talane’s Coaching Tip for the Week, September 14, 2009
The Power of Less

Hello all! I have just returned to the UK after two glorious months in Manitowoc, Wisconsin where my mom lives—we had fun playing on the beach of Lake Michigan—beautiful weather all summer and, oddly enough, no mosquitoes this summer. We were glad to have missed yet another dismal English summer—rainy and cold. My eldest daughter has started “big” school and has a uniform (all the schools in the UK have uniforms) and looks so official now. And I've just finished writing my third book, Coach Yourself to a New Career that will be coming out this spring! A fun and busy summer to say the least!

Upon my return to England, I found my husband had ordered a book called Power of Less, The: The Fine Art of Limiting Yourself to the Essential...in Business and in Life by Leo Babauta and ironically, he ordered two copies by mistake. So I read it and thought it just the medicine required. I'm a packrat by nature and my natural inclination is for more, not less. (My husband is the minimalist.) Babauta recommends getting rid of the clutter, but doesn't tell you how (you'll have to read my book for that—Coach Yourself to Success!), and he recommends focusing on one thing at a time, and thankfully, he gives specific instruction on how to do that. His main point is to never have more han one big goal going on at a time and that goal should be achievable in a 6-12 month time frame). In my case, that would be writing a book. If your goal takes longer than a year to complete, then you need to break into smaller segments. In addition, you can have a maximum of three projects going on with the caveat that one of the three projects must be supporting and related to your big goal. [A project is defined as something that would take at least a day to complete or more but isn't as big as the big goal.] In my case a project might be to interview clients for the book or read a book for research, or draft a chapter.

My problem is that I'm always tempted to put more than one goal and more than three projects on at a time. Babuata says this dilutes the power of your focus—a very good point! So until you finish all three projects, you can't add in any new ones. I like the rigor of his approach and will try it out in real life to see if it is actually practical. I suspect, depending on your job and the nature of your work, you may need to adapt this to your own situation. Ideally, if you can get away with only doing one thing at a time, he recommends it as the best way to get things finished. I have to agree. Two weeks before I left England I got it into my head that I should try to get the first draft of my book done. (My original plan was to write it in Wisconsin). By giving myself permission to really focus on this one project intensely and write as much as I could every day, I did get the entire rough draft done! Of course, it needed more work over the summer, but I started the summer with a really solid draft to work on and refine—and boy was I glad because once I arrived in Wisconsin I really felt like sitting on the beach drinking margaritas. I slipped into holiday mode instantly.

This strategy requires saying “no” to lots of things so that you can focus on your one big goal and the three projects (remember that one of those three projects is for your big goal). He gives some good tips on how to tell your boss three projects is enough for any one human being. And he gives some good tips on managing your email–like only checking it twice a day and never ever check email before you've done some work on your big goal. Overall, the book is a quick read, concisely written and a great reminder to focus on one thing at a time and get rid of all other distractions. By the way, Babauta has six kids so such a strategy is essential or I could imagine he wouldn't get anything accomplished!

Enjoy!
Talane

P.S. I just wanted to share that even if you only have half an hour a day for your big goal, you'll get there in the end. I know an author who wrote her book every night for half an hour while her son was little—it was all the time she could spare and had the energy for. She finished the book in one year! So think about it—in one year from a day you could have a book or some other big goal accomplished! But just pick one big goal!

Copyright © 2009 by Talane LLC. All rights reserved.

Talane’s Coaching Classic Tip for the Week, September 8, 2009

Talane’s Coaching Classic Tip for the Week, September 8, 2009

Listen Profoundly

Most people like to think that they are good listeners. Very few people actually are. Think about the people you know. Of all your friends and family, how many really listen to you? Listening is an art and, like any life skill, takes practice. No one ever taught us how to listen; we were taught to speak. Stop worrying so much about what you are going to say. What really attracts people is not what you say, but how well you listen. Listening and keeping your stories to yourself will lead to an unexpected result. The person who does the most talking ends up feeling he knows and trusts the listener. It seems like it should be in reverse, that the person listening should feel he knows the talker, but this isn’t the case. A well-known reporter confirmed this. He said that the way to build trust is to listen and keep on listening and then keep on listening some more. As a rule of thumb, talk 20 percent of the time and listen 80 percent. Try this today and see what happens. You might be amazed at the things people will tell you when you really listen. People will love you for listening. Listening profoundly is not easy; it takes practice. Experiment. Try listening for three minutes before you say your piece. The more profoundly you listen, the more people will enjoy being around you and the more opportunities you will attract.

Copyright © 2009 by Talane LLC. All rights reserved

The Power of a Clean Desk

The Power of a Clean Desk

The other day I was feeling a bit stuck and overwhelmed. I took a look at my desk, heaped with papers and all sorts and decided to spend an entire day taking care of everything on my desk and inbox. Down to zero was the objective!

The trick to doing this is to pick up the first piece of paper and handle it completely. I have to resist my natural tendency to sift through the pile and pick out the ones that look like fun, are interesting, or easy to do and be rigorous about it. Otherwise I just end up shuffling paper from one place to another.

This is not the time to pick up a big project and work on it. Those go into a project file or folder. This is the time to clear up all those sticky notes and bits of paper and get everything organized and filed. Pay the bills, send out that thank you note. Handle any loose ends.

At the end of the day, I felt amazingly liberated. I no longer felt a sense of dread just looking at my desk, in fact, my head felt clear and I felt inspired to write. I actually was eager to start working on the next book. Wow! The power of a clean desk. Well worth the investment of time.

If you are feeling bogged down or stuck, look at your diary, find a clear day and reserve it for a clean up day. You’ll be amazed at the newfound energy!

All the best,

Talane

My Blog of the Week, 19th July.

One of my new clients came to me with the almost universal goal to lose weight—10 lbs. to be precise. I asked her how long she had this as a goal and she admitted it was over a year without any real progress so I told her to throw that goal out as it was a dead goal not worth putting any energy into at all. But she persisted and said that she was concerned that she was now getting to the stage in life where weight that once came off easily wasn’t anymore and she had other health issues she wanted to deal with as well. I replied that I wouldn’t work with her on losing weight, but would support her in a bigger goal that would have weight loss be a by product of that bigger goal or project. That way she could focus on the big goal and I could support her in that and the weight would come off by itself. For example, she could enter the NY marathon and join a team of people in training to run it. Pretty fair bet she’d lose ten pounds without even thinking about it. Or take ballroom dancing lessons with the goal of entering a competition. Or take yoga teacher training, etc. I gave her a week to think of a bigger goal that would excite her but she came back empty handed saying that she couldn’t think of a bigger goal that appealed to her other than improving her general health and fitness. Not very exciting. I suggested that instead of that, she embark on a program of extreme self care to include things such as working with a nutritionist to design a food plan tailor made to her needs, working with her life coach (me!), getting a weekly massage, manicure/pedicure, facial, pilates three times a week, etc. Now that sounds like more fun! She also had to write down her weight every day in a log book and take her average weight lose for the week. She lost 1 lb. The first week already. Then she put down lose two lbs. this week and I had to stop her. She can’t really control whether her body will lose those two pounds this week so that goal had to go. Instead we put in the goal that she would put her nutritional plan in place this week and start working out at home when she didn’t have pilates that day. That is something she can promise to do and deliver on.

Just a general rule of thumb, it isn’t a good idea to set goals for yourself that you can’t control. She can’t really promise to me she’ll lose two lbs this week, but she can promise to exercise every day and start eating the foods on her plan.

On a personal note, I’ve decided to make fitness my own goal and get my body back to pre-pregnancy shape. As my youngest daughter will be two this December and my body hasn’t naturally gone back, it is high time I make this a priority. As with any current initiative, I give them first priority and do it first thing in the morning. I just couldn’t muster up the energy to do it at night so this was my solution. As a result, I had to squish my work time into the afternoon hours and be more efficient and start my day at about 12noon instead of 9am. So far, this has worked out just fine and my business is still intact.

Give your special project first priority and do it before you open your emails or check your voice mail and you’ll be amazed at the results. I’m quite pleased with my thighs these days J.

Warmest,

Talane

Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.

Confucios says our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.

I thought I’d give an update on my personal and business goals. If you remember, I had a huge list of things to get done before my 40^th birthday and now it looks I’m going to have to scale down my expectations. Perhaps if I get them all done while I’m forty that would be good! Babies do take time, there is no doubt about it. I just can’t move as quickly as before.

I have made good progress though:

• I passed my Driving Theory test with flying colors! I know that seems like a little thing, but it is half the battle. I now need to take the practical driving test. Driving in England isn’t as easy as I thought. I felt like a 16 year-old sitting for the exam, cramming at the last minute (I’m a firm believer in short-term memory!) and getting sweaty palms. It doesn’t look like I’ll be able to pass the practical exam in time so I will turn 40 and not be able to drive unescorted. Oh well, at least progress is being made. I’m determined to pass in August.

• I’ve written an outline for my next book and am waiting to get a thumbs up or down from my agent. Waiting on tenterhooks I might add! I’m very excited about this new book idea. Keep your fingers crossed!

• I added a new goal to the list and, at the last minute, decided to do a 9-week Coach Yourself to Success Phoneclass, which is almost over now. The class has been brilliant so I’ll be able to convert it into a 9-hour CD set and have it available for sale in the fall. Another product for sale is always good!

• A number of coaches have registered for www.lifecoach.com , but I have room for a more. (Any interested coaches must be trained or in training in an ICF Accredited Coach Training Program to qualify for a listing.) I haven’t done anything to promote this new site other than write an email.

• I’ve lost more weight, but am still 14lbs. shy of my goal. I’ve come to a huge realization. All my life I’ve done crash diets with the goal to lose the weight as quickly as possible. This time, because I was breast-feeding, the doctor advised losing only 2 lbs. a week. I’ve been on this slow diet now since December and have lost 28 lbs. It doesn’t sound impressive, but it has had the interesting effect of changing my eating habits. When crash dieting I didn’t mind eating anything (cabbage soup, grapefruit, egg whites, etc. I once even did a ghastly cold hotdog diet), but since I have been dieting for half a year, I’ve had to find recipes that are really tasty. Otherwise it is pure misery. I now have a vast file of really great, low-fat recipes and have changed my habits for good. For example, I use an olive oil sprayer now instead of pouring oil into the pan. It is amazing how these tiny little changes can lead to significant weight loss over time. I’ve also decided that fast diets aren’t good at all because they don’t give you enough time to actually change your habits (psychologists say it takes 21 days to change a habit) and the weight comes back on and then some afterwards so why bother?
• I’ve cleaned up my office (with the help of a professional organizer) and my husband deleted all my email backlog (bless his heart!) so I only have a relatively small paper backlog. If you haven’t heard from me and should have, your email was probably deleted so please let me know!

Life is good, the summer is here and I’m taking all of August off to enjoy the beach and my family. The Europeans definitely know what they are doing in the vacation department. Wouldn’t it be great if Americans decided to take the month of August off as well. I hope to start a trend. J

If there is any coaching to be gained from this email, it might be that if you set over-ambitious goals and don’t reach them, don’t worry, just extend the deadline or change the goal! The work will still be there.

All the best,

Talane

Talane's Coaching Tip of the Week June 22

When I was a little girl I read a story that I’ve never forgotten, but I can’t remember the title. or the details very clearly. It was about a man who was very unhappy--his life was grey and dull. He went into a travel agency, attracted by the beautiful posters of bright and exotic locations on the wall. The travel agent asked where he would like to go and he said he didn’t have enough money to go anywhere but wanted to go someplace where people were happy and friendly and warm. The kindly agent asked how much he had in total and he dug out of his pockets all the money he had which amounted to about $39.00 and wasn’t really enough to go anywhere nice. The agent said not to worry, there was a very special place he could go for that much money with beautiful white sandy beaches. He said to wait at a particular place for a bus and then get on the bus and the driver would take him to this wonderful place. He gave the agent all the money he had and got the ticket for the bus. While standing at the bus stop, he started to doubt that this was real and suddenly thought that he had been an idiot and that this travel agent had ripped him off and taken all his remaining money. He was just about to leave when he saw the bus coming. It stopped and the door opened and he got on the bus but he was the only one on the bus, which he thought was very suspicious. Finally, the bus stopped and there, in the middle of nowhere was a barn or an old building. The bus door opened and he got off and the driver said he should go into the building. He wasn’t and hesitated, but then decided that this was crazy and told the driver to take him back to town. The door to the barn opened and there he saw in a flash all sorts of happy, smiling people, children laughing and playing on the beautiful beach. Everything looked lovely, but the door shut and it was all gone. He went back to the travel agent and asked if he could take the special trip again, but the agent was different and said there were no such trips and gave him a refund of his money. He went back to his sad, grey life.

That in essence was the story --a children’s story, but applicable to adults. The reason I am sharing it here is that every day people turn away from their dreams because they can’t believe that a better life is available. People choose to go back to their same old grey life when the sunny life awaits them and is there for the choosing, but chose you must. We just lost a client this week who chose to follow the hard path in life and continue doing work that he doesn’t enjoy when his dreams are there, bright and shiny, waiting for him to chose them. He opted to work with a coach who would hold him accountable to his goals, but not his dreams. That isn’t how we work in my company.

Now is the time to start living your dreams. Get on the bus, have a little faith in yourself.

All the best,

Talane

PS If you know of the title of this children’s story, please let me know as I’d love to get it right!

The Brain Purge.

The Brain Purge.

Last night I went to bed early, listened to my meditation tape that usually sends me right off but there I lay, wide awake thinking of all sorts of random things I needed to do. After a good hour laying there with all these thoughts coming in and my brain churning with ideas, I decided to go with the flow instead of fight it. I got up, put my robe on and went to the kitchen and made myself a cup of camomile tea (to help me relax and sleep) and ate a prune yogurt—I know, it sounds disgusting but they are really nice! Then I went back upstairs and ripped a page out of my journal to write down all the things to do—the gamut from defrosting the freezer to writing a new book. I ended up filling five pages with everything I could possibly think of –no wonder I couldn’t sleep! With every last thing I could possibly think of written down, I was finally able to go back to sleep. I just needed a little spring cleaning for my brain!

If you are feeling overwhelmed with things to do (day or night) this is a great exercise. The wonderful thing is that it gets all this random stuff out of your head and onto a piece of paper (or five!) so you can see it objectively in the light of day. I am now reviewing the list, delegating what I can, and ticking things off. The good news is that this list is finite. There is an end in sight. When things churn around in my head, it feels never-ending and snowball out of proportion. I now feel clear-headed and relaxed.

Try this out and see for yourself!

Warmest,

Talane

The Magic of Three

The Magic of Three

One of my highly successful clients shared one of his very effective tips for powerful relationships both in business and in his personal life called “The Magic of Three.” The key to making sure your spouse, date, manager or employee feels really special is to do three special things in one day. All it takes is three little things to make someone feel wonderful. And the combined impact of doing three in one day is better than doing one small thing a day. Here is an example of how this might work. In the morning, you might bring your mate a cup of tea or coffee just how they like it in bed or leave a post it note on the bathroom mirror saying, “Morning, gorgeous!” You might send an email or call at midday and say, “Just called to say I love you!” And at night, you might put a chocolate on their pillow and turn down the covers. Three little tiny gestures that cost little to nothing and take hardly any time at all, but the impact is huge. Your partner will feel very loved and special. And, you can do this sporadically with different gestures so that it doesn’t become expected or routine.

This past weekend, I personally experienced the magic of three at the American Embassy in London—the last place on earth I would have expected it! We had to present our one year old, Sophia, in person at the embassy in order to get her U.S. citizenship, Passport and Social Security number as she was born in England. Months in advance I reserved the appointment and sent in the paperwork. We expected to wait for hours while the wheels of bureaucracy slowly turned. A grim task, but it had to be done. Much to my surprise, the consular officer was a very special man and he turned a boring administrative task into a very special ceremony. Whether he was aware of it or not, he used the magic of three. First, while the others at the embassy were wearing jeans and casual clothes, he wore a suit and tie. Second, he didn’t use an ordinary plastic pen to sign the documents, he had a fountain pen and had a beautiful signature to go with it. He made sure that I noticed that this was a special ceremony by saying while he was signing that he takes special care when signing the certificate so that his signature is legible in the years to come. It was when he said this that I noticed his fountain pen and lovely signature. Then he very carefully blotted his signature so that it wouldn’t run. Third, he said with proper solemnity and warmth, “Sophia Penelope Fox is, as of the moment of her birth, an American citizen. And added a heartfelt, “Congratulations!” One thousand people go through the American Embassy a day and this man must have performed this task countless times, but he made it very special by doing three small things that were unexpected. He could very easily have been bored and just rubber stamped his way through, but he took just a few seconds extra to make it a very special occasion. I left the embassy feeling absolutely delighted. I was so proud, I felt like framing her certificate. All because one man knew the Magic of Three.

Use the Magic of Three with everyone around you and you’ll leave a wake of delighted people wherever you go. It takes no time and it costs nothing so you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Enjoy!

Talane

Discover Your Unique Talent.

Discover Your Unique Talent

We all have some special talent, skill, or gift – something

we do or some way we see things that is different or better

than anyone else. Very often what comes naturally to you is

so much a part of you that you don't even notice it. People

tend to think that if it is easy for them, then it is easy

for everyone else too. This just isn't so. You might think

if it is this easy or fun, then you shouldn't get paid for

it. We like to think that work is hard - that if we don't

sweat and struggle, we don't deserve to get paid for it.

Again, this just isn't so. In fact, it is more often the

opposite: the people who make the most money love what they

do and have some natural ability for it that they have

honed and developed.

If you can't figure out what your special talent is,

interview your friends, family, and colleagues. They will

tell you. It is really this easy. Here are some questions

you can ask: What do you think is my greatest strength?

What is my biggest weakness? (Ask this only if you feel up

to it, and ask them to tell you in a constructive way. Do

not comment on anything they say. You are simply gathering

opinions.) What do you see as my special talent or gift?
What do I do naturally and effortlessly that is special? If

I were on the cover of a magazine, what magazine would it

be and what would the story be about? When am I most fully

expressing this gift or talent?

The next step is to begin to honor your gift. By that I

mean that you fully express it, share it with others, do

it, be it, live it. Just start. Do one thing that will

allow you to fully express your unique gift. Then see how

you can incorporate that into your life today, and the

universe will pull you in that direction. Remember, your

own special skill comes so easily and naturally that you

probably take it for granted.

All the best,

Talane

A Different Perspective on Healthcare…

A Different Perspective on Healthcare…

A few hours after I came home from the hospital with my newborn baby girl, Kaela, there was a knock on my front door. My mom answered and saw a man standing there. She asked, “Who are you?” “I’m Dr. May”, he answered. “Why are you here?” “I’ve come to check on the new baby.” My mother’s mouth gaped in amazement. She couldn’t believe the doctor had made a house call just to see a perfectly healthy baby that had already been checked out thoroughly at the hospital before we left. Dr. May likes babies and makes this extra effort simply because he wants to. He isn’t obligated to or required to, he just does it because he cares and is our family doctor. He did the same when I came home with my second daughter, Sophia. No charge. In addition, for the first few months after giving birth, a health care visitor came to my house once a week to check up on the baby, administer any injections and make sure that the feeding was going well and the baby was gaining weight at the correct rate as well as make sure that my womb was contracting properly and I was healing well. These nurses assure you that they expect to see you in bathrobes with hair a mess and don’t want you to get dressed up for them. And they understand how tired you are and what a hassle getting to the doctor’s office is when you have a newborn. How fabulous a service is that! And guess what, I didn’t spend a penny for it.

My mother just arrived to spend two months with us. She neglected to renew her high blood pressure medication and arrived with just ten days supply of medication. Her plan was to cut the pills in half and hope to survive. I was horrified when I heard her plan because she has been on this medication for years, has not changed her weight or diet and is at high risk for a heart attack. You don’t have to be a life coach to see that her plan was abysmal at best. After a sleepless night spent worrying that my mother would die, I realized that I needed to do something. I booked an appointment with our family doctor. I was given an appointment for 5:00 p.m. that very day. We arrived just before 5:00 p.m. and at 5:02 p.m. the doctor was ready to see her. He asked what he could do for her and she asked if he could renew her prescription for two months. Without further ado he wrote out the slip and off we went to the pharmacist next door who filled it in five minutes. By 5:20 p.m. we were on our way home with medication in hand. There was no charge for any of this. In fact, there are no cash registers or credit card machines in the doctor’s reception so you couldn’t pay even if you tried as they have no way of taking money. And, since my mom is a senior citizen, there was no charge for medication at the pharmacy either. They just handed her the bag with her pills and off she went.

The other day I had to go take my daughter to the emergency room. Instead of asking for my insurance or credit card, the receptionist asked what the problem was. I was seen in order of priority which was about a half-hour because it wasn’t a life threatening issue.

Now you might be thinking, Talane must be rolling in dough to afford that level of health care or that I have some super duper insurance policy that you’ve never heard of. Nope. I’m living in England and this level of care is standard. These weren’t just flukes. I’ve been here five years and I’ve never once had to wait for a doctor’s appointment for more than 20 minutes and when that happened the doctor apologized profusely for making me wait. You can opt to use private medicine here if you wish, but the standard care is so good I haven’t seen the need to. As some of my readers may know, I’m an American who married an Englishman and moved from New York to England and I have been running my NYC based life coaching company from abroad for five years now. In this time, I’ve also had two babies, Kaela and Sophia who are now 4 and 2 years old. I’ve been reading in the UK press a lot about American’s using the word “socialism” as if it were a dirty word. Before I moved to the UK, I assumed that the US health care was the best in the world and the reason that it was the best was because it was a private system, not a socialized system. That competition ensured the best care and the best doctors. I assumed that anything that was socialized and run by the government couldn’t possibly be as good or as efficient as private medicine or private anything else for that matter. How wrong could I be! My years in England have completely changed my perspective. Socialized medicine is wonderful—at least in England. I never in my life would have imagined I’d say that, but I will shout it from the rooftops. I love it! It is such a good feeling to know that if, heaven forbid, something catastrophic should happen, it won’t ruin us financially. In fact, the one thing putting me off about returning to America is that I’d have huge health insurance costs with two small munchkins. You don’t need health insurance here in the UK. I don’t have it. They just cut out the middle men and pay the doctor’s directly. What a concept. And what is most surprising to me is that is feels so much more democratic…so much more equal. Everyone gets great treatment. The poor people don’t have to wait for hours in some second-rate clinic. Children and elderly don’t pay for medication. No one takes a job here in order to get medical benefits. And yet, I personally know people in the US who have taken certain jobs just so they can get medical benefits and coverage. My own aunt could not get health insurance or benefits at her company because she is obese. Isn’t this discrimination? My eldest sister is completely uncovered because she can’t afford to pay for health insurance. How is that better? Now that I’ve seen and experienced how wonderful, how civilized, how democratic, how reassuring and how fair socialized medicine can be, I’d never use the word socialism with disdain. Don’t believe me…come over here and break a leg.

Warmest,
Talane

Copyright © 2009 by Talane LLC. All rights reserved.

Doing the Work You Love: Fear is your Friend.

Tip of the week

Doing the Work You Love: Fear is your Friend

By Talane Miedaner

Many people don't do what they love to do because they are afraid. And often those fears center around money. As Nick Williams says, "Money is essential to life, but is not the purpose of life, but our money fears are usually the reason that we don't do what we want to do with our working lives." On the other hand, I think of fear as our friend. Fear is designed to prevent us from taking life-threatening or dangerous actions, like jumping off the side of a cliff for example. Fear is a good thing. We need fear; it is there to protect us.

With that in mind, when I'm working with my clients and they say they are afraid to pursue something new or different, I always ask why. Is it because they are afraid they won't make enough money to support their family? Is it because they don't know if they'll be good at this new thing and successful at it? These are two very legitimate fears worth addressing.

The first fear can be alleviated by having two year's savings in place. When I wanted to quit my bank job at Chase and go into coaching, my own coach said I needed to stick it out until I had two year's of living expenses in place. It felt to me like an eternity, but now I'm glad I had those savings because it enabled me to start my coaching business with no money stress or worries and gave me time to write my book while keeping up my Manhattan rent. Since most businesses fail in the first two years because of lack of capital it makes sense to have this buffer in place before you quit your day job. In the meantime, I took coach training courses, worked with clients at a rookie rate for practice, got my lifecoach.com website up, ordered business cards, etc.

All this takes time and isn't generating money--yet another reason to keep the day job as long as you can. And, if, like so many, you have been laid off or downsized, even then, go ahead and get a job that pays the bills while you build your dream career in your spare time. This handles the fear of how to survive and gives you time to get the training you need.

The Big Spring Clean!
June 2009

Spring is a natural time to start shaking out the comforters and pillows and hanging the bed linens on the line for some fresh sun. It is a great time to go through the house, one room at a time and do the big yearly clean, wash the walls, windows, get the dust out of all those awkward nooks and crannies until the room is spotless and just the way you want it. Spring is the time to clear out the dust bunnies from under the bed, as well as any items in the house you no longer want or need. Now is the time take any broken items to be fixed and to toss those that are beyond repair. Donate items you no longer use that are “too good” to give to a charity shop or sell them in a garage sale, car boot sale or consignment shop. If you are too busy or not inclined to give the house a spring clean yourself, hire a professional cleaner and/or a professional organizer to come for the day and give your house or apartment a top to bottom clean or clear out. You’ll be glad you did it as it will give you a big boost of energy! And, this is the ultimate way to attract new and better things and opportunities into your life as nature abhors a vacuum.

Many people naturally feel like doing a cleansing diet in the spring to shed any excess that might have built up over the winter. If this feels right to you, seek a nutritionist for a plan that would suit your body.

In addition to doing a physical clear-out of stuff, if you find you are always running late or feel too busy, you may want to clear out your schedule as well. Here are a few of the best tips for giving yourself a clean slate for the rest of the year:

1. Use the Joy Filter for All Commitments, Business and Personal
   Review all organizations, associations, memberships, committees and social obligations. Evaluate each commitment. Does it still give you joy? If you dread going to a certain meeting and wish you didn’t have to, give notice and politely resign. If you’ve made promises, scout around for someone to take your place so that you won’t be letting anyone down. Do not renew any obligations out of duty. Only do what you genuinely enjoy. It helps if you learn to say “no” gracefully. Have a few handy excuses in your back pocket to use whenever asked to do something or attend something that you don’t really want to do. A simple one that works well is, “Thanks for thinking of me, but I already have plans for that day.” Do NOT add, “maybe next time.” Or, if you aren’t sure, simply say, “Let me check my calendar and I’ll get back to you.” This will give time to evaluate whether the activity or event is something that you want to do.
   
2. Sign up for Online Banking
   If you haven’t already done so, take the time to sign up for online banking and set up all bills to be paid online. This saves time, energy and postage. And remember to set up 10% of your income to go into automatic savings as well!
   
3. Order Your Groceries Online
   If your grocery store delivers, sign up for online shopping and get groceries delivered to your door. This saves about 45 minutes to an hour a week as well as gasoline costs so well worth doing.
   
4. Never Check Email or Voicemail First
   Instead, do the one thing that is most important about the day first. Opening emails can be like opening Pandora’s box. You never know what will leap out and claim your attention. Get your important project or task done for the day first, then attend to your email. If it could wait overnight, another hour or two won’t matter. If you do it the other way around, you may discover the day gets consumed by responding to emails and you never have time for the bigger and more important projects and goals. You’ll get loads more accomplished this way.
   
5. Eliminate or Minimize Your Commute
   A study revealed that a commute of 45 minutes or more to work is damaging to your health because of the stress that it adds to your life. It makes sense to work where you live or live where you work. Now that I own my own business, I have a 15-second commute from my home to an office built into the back of the garage. Working from home is a huge time saver because it eliminates the time, energy and cost of commuting. And I’m on hand in case there is an emergency with the kids which gives me peace of mind. With rising costs of fuel, now is a great time to either move closer to the office or find a job closer to home. And if that isn’t immediately possible, start by asking your company if you can work a few days a week at home. Even one day a week at home will make a huge difference to your productivity and you will get so much accomplished without all the interruptions at the office. Savvy employers realize this and as more companies are concerned about corporate responsibility, now is a good time to be cutting down on fuel consumption. When I worked at Chase in Manhattan, I had to be on the bank floor so working from home wasn’t an option. I was in the habit of taking the subway, but found getting squashed in with every other commuter wasn’t a joy and if there were problems on the line I’d be stuck and late. So I decided to walk. It turns out it only took an hour to walk to work so in exchange for a 30-45 minute unpleasant subway experience, I enjoyed two hours of excellent exercise and a walk through Central Park every day. Took a bit more time, but then I got a good workout in so it was well worth it! As a bonus, I was never late.
   
6. Unplug the TV
   This is potentially the biggest time saver of all as the average American has the TV on seven hours a day. Unplug the TV and hide it in the closet for one month. You’ll be amazed at how much time you’ll free up in the evenings. Use this newfound time to clear clutter, catch up on calls and correspondence, sign up for online banking and otherwise simplify and organize your life. By the end of the month you’ll be in great shape for the rest of the year!

Copyright © 2008 by Talane LLC. All rights reserved.

The Hurried Woman Syndrome

Last week I wrote about this syndrome and received emails that it isn't just women, but also men who are running about like headless chickens. I also received permission to share this email from Diana in the Netherlands with you...

Hi Talane,

This is so great, but sadly 2 weeks to late for me.

I call myself runaround Sue. Not running around with men, but running around doing a 1000 things at once (and my name isn't Sue either!)

I was just wondering, "Why do I need to do all those things? Why can't I just leave it with one thing and drop the rest? On my day off (I work 4 days) I take my daughter to school and immediately go grocery shopping at three stores--one is cheaper, one has nicer stuff, and the other has fresh veggies. After that I go to a thousand other places. Sometimes when I pick my daughter up from school, she says, "Mummy, why are you staring?"

"Because mummy is tired." (It was only 1pm!)

But I didn't go to sleep, I did the other 100 things.

Two weeks ago I got dizzy. After two dizzy days at work, I couldn't get up the third day. The doctor said I needn't worry --it was a flu or something. I got better by resting. I'm also in a band so I did the gig, stayed up late, got up early and did my crazy running again because I felt better.

Yesterday the universe got tired of watching me. I sprained my ankle at work while running around. It was so bad I was nauseated from the pain and had to be carried as I couldn't walk.

I'm sitting at home now, unable to move. My mother-in-law takes my daughter to and from school. My husband does the shopping (at one store) and my coworkers don't want to see me at work until my ankle is better. I can only crawl to the bathroom every now and then.

I still have a thousand plans, but I know now, that even without carrying them out, the world is still doing fine. 

What a way the universe has chosen to tell me: "No stop running around, you fool!"

So thanks for the tips. I will use them from now on. Also, in your first book, there was something about making a list and throwing it away? That sounds good too.

Greetings from The Netherlands,

Diana Kartojudo

I love Diana's story because it is so typical of so many of us. I've done it myself! Further updates from Diana...she has torn the achilles heel, has had surgery and now really can't move! If you don't slow down, the universe will stop you in your tracks. 

Before you end up in traction, make a list right now of ten things you could do to simplify your life. Cut out projects that you've taken on that you no longer enjoy. Shop at one store or better yet, shop online. (It's the greener choice! )Diana is already planning on shopping online (I'm amazed that American grocery stores haven't started offering this fabulous service yet), but mentioned that she'd only do that while incapacitated. Personally, I'm hooked on it now and only shop in the store for fun now. The big weekly shop is all automated. 

Start showing up ten minutes early to every appointment and use that time to just sit and be still or meditate. No more chickens please!