The Four Myths of Forgiveness:
Why We Don't Forgive the Ones We Love the Most
by Talane Miedaner
If you want to heal your emotional life in one magical move, forgive. If you want to unleash more energy, creativity and joy -- drop your resentments like a heavy wool coat in summer and forgive. One client, Beth, 34, enjoys a highly successful career as a sales executive for a technology company. She works from home and loves her husband and three-year-old son. And yet happiness eludes her. Years ago, she felt deeply hurt when her father divorced her mother and married another woman. As a result, Beth has distanced herself from her dad.
Like Beth, most of us feel wronged in some way by people close to us. And most of us feel frustrated when it comes to forgiveness. We want to get this unpleasantness behind us, yet hang on to our grudges and gripes like a dog to its bone. We’ve bought into the four myths of forgiveness.
Myth #1: It’s not that important.
Why make a mountain out of a molehill? We toss the hurt into our bag of burdens, which compound faster than our IRAs, becoming heavier and heavier as we drag them through life. They drain our energy, infecting us as well as those around us with bitterness or resentment. Beth is modeling for her son a very cool, distant relationship with a parent. Is that what she wants later on with her child? Forgiveness is perhaps the most powerful practice we can embrace and the single greatest gift we can give ourselves. Beth has never spoken with her father about how hurt she felt when he left her mother and now every time she sees him, her unspoken anger and resentment bubble beneath a polite facade. Beth feels resigned to this way of life. The holidays are approaching and she’s dreading them. When we tell ourselves it’s not that important, we’re saying we’re not that important.
Myth #2: Let sleeping dogs lie.
The idea of revisiting some unpleasant incident from the past can feel so overwhelming, we’d rather ignore it. We procrastinate, insisting this isn’t the right time to forgive the person. Actually, there's never a good time not to forgive. My clients typically procrastinate so I gently remind them until they get to it. And they are never sorry they did. Their only complaint? "Why did it take me so long?" For years Beth felt that talking with her dad about her feelings would only make things worse so why bother? When she realized she had nothing to lose but her bitterness, she decided to go ahead and try talking. They met at a restaurant and Beth thanked him for taking the time and let him know that she wanted to clear the air for the sake of her son. She said that even if they didn't get along at least her son would have a grandfather.
Myth #3: Forgiving means condoning unacceptable or even evil beha vior.
This myth hooks a lot of us, especially the perfectionists. To get beyond this myth, keep your focus on yourself. Forgiveness has to do with you, not the other person or his behavior. You aren’t saying that their behavior is acceptable or condoning it in any way. In fact, you can say in one breath, “Your behavior was not acceptable. Don't let it happen again. I forgive you.” Forgiveness acknowledges human frailty. It helps if you realize that we are all doing the best we can at the time, given the circumstances and sometimes that just isn't good enough.
When Beth met with her father, she stated the facts of the situation from her point of view and gave her father time to tell his side of the story. He said, "I never wanted to lie to you, I just couldn't bear the thought of losing your love." He added that he very much wanted to be a grandpa, but hadn't felt welcome.
Myth #4: You can't forgive someone unless they apologize.
Often people wait and wait, hoping one day an apology will magically materialize so they can feel free of this troublesome loose end in life. In most cases, the offender doesn’t even realize she’s offended, so why would she think of apologizing? This myth would also mean we couldn’t forgive any of our not so dearly departed. Webster's dictionary defines forgiveness as “giving up resentment of or claim to requital for.” In other words, the action is all right here in me and does not depend on the other person. You can forgive someone regardless of what they have done in the past and you can even forgive someone who is already dead and long gone. Forgiveness is for you – so you can be free of the anger, hurt and resentment. It isn't for them or about them at all. That is the mistake most people make – if you think that by holding onto your anger and pain you are somehow punishing the offender you are gravely mistaken. The only person who loses is the person who can't forgive. You'd be amazed how often the offender doesn't even realize they did something offensive.
The real gift of forgiveness is that it’s an act complete in itself. You can do it no matter what the other person says or does. We can't control what others do. We can only control ourselves. Don’t put off one of the most important steps in your life. It’s not necessary to ask for an apology or amends, but you may feel better if you do. Make your request without any expectation as to how the other person should respond. Be prepared to forgive them even if they say, “I never did that.”
Beth’s dad was grateful for the opportunity to apologize. Suddenly Beth realized that all her father wanted was to love and protect her. Yes, he had made a big mistake, but so had s he. She had shut him out. She said, "I'm so sorry." Beth forgave her father; he forgave her. They hugged each other for the first time in 15 years.
Who do you most need to forgive? Begin today — make a list of everyone that you'd rather not bump into and write down exactly what they did that so terribly offended or hurt you. You may even be surprised that you can't even recall the specifics of the incident yourself! Then make a point of writing, calling or speaking to each person on the list in order to clear the air. Make sure it is a good time to speak to them and that they aren't distracted or busy. Speak in a neutral, calm tone of voice and stick to the facts. “You said or did x and I felt y.” Then you can ask for amends or an apology if appropriate. Whether or not they apologize you can say, “I forgive you” and you'll be free.
Congratulations!
Make a resolution to start the New Year with a free and happy heart a nd start forgiving your loved ones this holiday season. You will be glad you did it!
Talane Miedaner, founder of the online coaching site, www.LifeCoach.com, is the international bestselling author of Coach Yourself to Success. She works in person, by phone, and online, helping her international clientele find wealth, success and happiness by restructuring their lives to easily attract the opportunities they want.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Talane Miedaner, MCC
Author of the international best seller, Coach Yourself to Success (McGraw-Hill, Jan 2000) and The Secret Laws of Attraction
Get free coaching tips at LifeCoach.com Copyright © 2010 by Talane LLC. All rights reserved.
Copyright © 2010 by Talane LLC. All rights reserved.
Thursday 30 December 2010
Tuesday 28 December 2010
Don't Do It Yourself!
Talane’s Coaching Tip for the Week.
Don't Do It Yourself
My mother and father are big on do-it- yourself projects. I grew up eating my mom's home-grown canned veggies and home-made huckleberry jam. Mom sewed a lot of our clothes and cut our hair and dad did all the home improvements and fixed the cars. My dad's philosophy is that you can learn to do anything yourself and save the money on hiring incompetent help. By the age of 8 we were babysitting ourselves because our parents believed we were more sensible and competent than the irresponsible teenagers in the neighborhood.
As a result, I discovered the amazing power of hiring professionals rather late in life. It wasn't until I was twenty nine that I hired a house cleaner to come once a month to clean my tiny New York City apartment, which seemed the ultimate frivolity given it was only 500 square feet! But I loved coming home to a sparkling clean apartment and was soon hooked on hiring help. My next step was to hire a massage therapist and even my father would admit that you just can't massage your own back properly. Then I hired a professional image consultant who discarded my entire wardrobe and created a whole new look – very expensive initially, but I'm still wearing some of those great classic clothes years more than ten years later so an excellent investment in the long run.
Then, when I bought a tumbling down house in the Catskills, I had to hire help because I simply didn't have the skills required to rewire and re-plumb the place. But I still painted the entire place myself and glazed about 54 broken window panes with the help of my mother.
And people often ask me how I managed to write two books, renovate two houses and breastfeed two girls in a period of five years. This was thanks again to hiring help and also getting my own mother to help out for two months. You can get so much more accomplished if you focus your energy and time on your natural gifts (in my case, coaching, speaking and writing) and delegate as much as you possibly can to other professionals.
Perhaps because I know I could do it myself, if I really really wanted to, hiring help always feels like a real luxury, but in fact, it just makes sound economic sense. It doesn't always pay to learn how to do a job, buy the tools to do it properly when a professional can come in with years of experience, all the right tools and do an excellent job for you.
This holiday season, stop trying to do it all if you feel overwhelmed. Get in a cleaner to clean the house once a week, even if just to get you through the holidays in tact. Get a weekly massage to stay healthy and relieve holiday stress. And consider having your holiday dinner cooked by a local restaurant or going out to eat. If you love cooking for hordes of people, then carry on, but if not, why put yourself through all this stress?
Enjoy!
Warmest,
Talane
Talane Miedaner, MCC
Author of the international best seller, Coach Yourself to Success (McGraw-Hill, Jan 2000) and The Secret Laws of Attraction
Get free coaching tips at LifeCoach.com
Copyright © 2010 by Talane LLC. All rights reserved.
Don't Do It Yourself
My mother and father are big on do-it- yourself projects. I grew up eating my mom's home-grown canned veggies and home-made huckleberry jam. Mom sewed a lot of our clothes and cut our hair and dad did all the home improvements and fixed the cars. My dad's philosophy is that you can learn to do anything yourself and save the money on hiring incompetent help. By the age of 8 we were babysitting ourselves because our parents believed we were more sensible and competent than the irresponsible teenagers in the neighborhood.
As a result, I discovered the amazing power of hiring professionals rather late in life. It wasn't until I was twenty nine that I hired a house cleaner to come once a month to clean my tiny New York City apartment, which seemed the ultimate frivolity given it was only 500 square feet! But I loved coming home to a sparkling clean apartment and was soon hooked on hiring help. My next step was to hire a massage therapist and even my father would admit that you just can't massage your own back properly. Then I hired a professional image consultant who discarded my entire wardrobe and created a whole new look – very expensive initially, but I'm still wearing some of those great classic clothes years more than ten years later so an excellent investment in the long run.
Then, when I bought a tumbling down house in the Catskills, I had to hire help because I simply didn't have the skills required to rewire and re-plumb the place. But I still painted the entire place myself and glazed about 54 broken window panes with the help of my mother.
And people often ask me how I managed to write two books, renovate two houses and breastfeed two girls in a period of five years. This was thanks again to hiring help and also getting my own mother to help out for two months. You can get so much more accomplished if you focus your energy and time on your natural gifts (in my case, coaching, speaking and writing) and delegate as much as you possibly can to other professionals.
Perhaps because I know I could do it myself, if I really really wanted to, hiring help always feels like a real luxury, but in fact, it just makes sound economic sense. It doesn't always pay to learn how to do a job, buy the tools to do it properly when a professional can come in with years of experience, all the right tools and do an excellent job for you.
This holiday season, stop trying to do it all if you feel overwhelmed. Get in a cleaner to clean the house once a week, even if just to get you through the holidays in tact. Get a weekly massage to stay healthy and relieve holiday stress. And consider having your holiday dinner cooked by a local restaurant or going out to eat. If you love cooking for hordes of people, then carry on, but if not, why put yourself through all this stress?
Enjoy!
Warmest,
Talane
Talane Miedaner, MCC
Author of the international best seller, Coach Yourself to Success (McGraw-Hill, Jan 2000) and The Secret Laws of Attraction
Get free coaching tips at LifeCoach.com
Copyright © 2010 by Talane LLC. All rights reserved.
Saturday 20 November 2010
How to win the BIG lottery.
Talane’s Coaching Tip for the Week
Another Simple Strategy for Creating an Ideal Life
As you can see, I’m on a roll here and if you still haven’t jotted down an ideal day or made a collage with the elements of your ideal life, what are you waiting for? It is your life after all, you’ve made it what it is today and if you don’t like it you can change it.
Here is another way to start living your ideal life today. Imagine that you just won the lottery and had billions – you can now buy everything that you wanted, do what you want, quit that job, lie on a beach and vegetate until the end of your life. But imagine you’ve done all this and it is now year two on the beach, you are very tan, but are now also getting a bit bored. You think to yourself, “What would be fun, interesting, or exciting to do?” Whatever you come up with is one of your values. Do you want to travel, play, have fun, lead and inspire people, explore, teach, manage, plan, create, invent, learn, design? Whatever you come up with is one of your core values – what is most important to you.
And this is the secret to winning the lottery in life without even buying a ticket. If you won the lottery, you’d be instantly freed up to do what you really want to do. But in truth, you can do this anyway. It may take a bit of restructuring to live your ideal life, but regardless, you can start today by identifying one of your core values and then creating a project that would fulfil that value. That might mean booking a vacation to a foreign country, taking an adult education class to learn something new and interesting, writing a screenplay, starting a band, taking scuba diving lessons, moving to a different city or country, finding more fulfilling work, etc.. There is something that you could do today that would allow you to live one of your values. And the more closely your life and work is in alignment with your top values, the happier and more fulfilled you will be. Better than winning the lottery actually as you’ll still have your friends!
Enjoy!
Talane
P.S. If you aren’t sure what your top four values are, you can find out by doing the exercises in my book Coach Yourself to a New Career or join our fun online community at LifeCoach.com!
Talane Miedaner, MCC
Author of the international best seller, Coach Yourself to Success (McGraw-Hill, Jan 2000) and The Secret Laws of Attraction
Get free coaching tips at LifeCoach.com
Copyright © 2010 by Talane LLC. All rights reserved.
——————————————————————————–
Coach Yourself to Success Online
Special Introductory Offer – $1 for first 30 days ($19.95 regular price after 30 days)
For years I’ve had a vision of being able to provide affordable coaching for everyone who wants it. I’m delighted to announce that this vision is now a reality – LifeCoach.com is full of resources, free tips, quizzes, success stories, coaching programs, phone classes and best of all – a brand new, life-changing, 52-week coaching program, Coach Yourself to Success Online. Now you too can experience the benefits of life coaching at a very affordable fee. Check it out and let me know what you think
Another Simple Strategy for Creating an Ideal Life
As you can see, I’m on a roll here and if you still haven’t jotted down an ideal day or made a collage with the elements of your ideal life, what are you waiting for? It is your life after all, you’ve made it what it is today and if you don’t like it you can change it.
Here is another way to start living your ideal life today. Imagine that you just won the lottery and had billions – you can now buy everything that you wanted, do what you want, quit that job, lie on a beach and vegetate until the end of your life. But imagine you’ve done all this and it is now year two on the beach, you are very tan, but are now also getting a bit bored. You think to yourself, “What would be fun, interesting, or exciting to do?” Whatever you come up with is one of your values. Do you want to travel, play, have fun, lead and inspire people, explore, teach, manage, plan, create, invent, learn, design? Whatever you come up with is one of your core values – what is most important to you.
And this is the secret to winning the lottery in life without even buying a ticket. If you won the lottery, you’d be instantly freed up to do what you really want to do. But in truth, you can do this anyway. It may take a bit of restructuring to live your ideal life, but regardless, you can start today by identifying one of your core values and then creating a project that would fulfil that value. That might mean booking a vacation to a foreign country, taking an adult education class to learn something new and interesting, writing a screenplay, starting a band, taking scuba diving lessons, moving to a different city or country, finding more fulfilling work, etc.. There is something that you could do today that would allow you to live one of your values. And the more closely your life and work is in alignment with your top values, the happier and more fulfilled you will be. Better than winning the lottery actually as you’ll still have your friends!
Enjoy!
Talane
P.S. If you aren’t sure what your top four values are, you can find out by doing the exercises in my book Coach Yourself to a New Career or join our fun online community at LifeCoach.com!
Talane Miedaner, MCC
Author of the international best seller, Coach Yourself to Success (McGraw-Hill, Jan 2000) and The Secret Laws of Attraction
Get free coaching tips at LifeCoach.com
Copyright © 2010 by Talane LLC. All rights reserved.
——————————————————————————–
Coach Yourself to Success Online
Special Introductory Offer – $1 for first 30 days ($19.95 regular price after 30 days)
For years I’ve had a vision of being able to provide affordable coaching for everyone who wants it. I’m delighted to announce that this vision is now a reality – LifeCoach.com is full of resources, free tips, quizzes, success stories, coaching programs, phone classes and best of all – a brand new, life-changing, 52-week coaching program, Coach Yourself to Success Online. Now you too can experience the benefits of life coaching at a very affordable fee. Check it out and let me know what you think
Tuesday 16 November 2010
The Art of Emotional Detachment
Talane’s November 2010 Newsletter
The Art of Emotional Detachment
There is a Taoist principle that if you detach from the results you are much more likely to do well. When we try too hard, push or force to get something or achieve a result, it can repel the very thing or person you most want. Anxiety, tension and pressure lead to poor performance, whether in business or sports. The key is to develop a love of what you are doing without the emotional attachment to the results. Easier said than done when you want something so badly you can taste it!
My own personal take on this ancient philosophy is to add a positive twist to it. My approach to life is that “It is all good, even the bad stuff.” By anticipating that something good will come out of something that appears “bad” I believe I am setting myself up to attract something positive. Or, at the very least I'll think about how a negative event or situation can be turned into a positive. (Okay, so if I'm laid up in bed sick, this must be an opportunity to reflect on life, come up with a new book idea, etc.)
Think about it. Many mistakes have gone on to become huge successes. The chocolate chip cookie was a mistake and what a lovely one! The Post-it™ note was a failed glue that didn't quite stick. Would the old man have seen the potential Post-it™ note success if he had only remained neutral? It may be the surest way to prevent disappointment, but what if you actively engage in turning a negative into a positive? The person who made the failed glue must have had the thought “Hmm... okay, so it isn't really that sticky, but how could that be useful?”
What if we embraced our mistakes and worst problems and dug around to find out how they might be turned into something even better?
Enjoy!
Talane
Talane Miedaner, MCC
Author of the international best seller, Coach Yourself to Success (McGraw-Hill, Jan 2000) and The Secret Laws of AttractionThe Art of Emotional Detachment
There is a Taoist principle that if you detach from the results you are much more likely to do well. When we try too hard, push or force to get something or achieve a result, it can repel the very thing or person you most want. Anxiety, tension and pressure lead to poor performance, whether in business or sports. The key is to develop a love of what you are doing without the emotional attachment to the results. Easier said than done when you want something so badly you can taste it!
One way to reduce our attachment is to stop judging what is happening. What if it just is what is and isn't good or bad? A classic Taoist story demonstrates this beautifully:
A very old Chinese man and his young son lived during a period of much civil strife. They were considered rich by the villagers because they owned a horse. One morning, the son awoke to find his horse had run away. Running to his father, he informed him of this tragedy, saying this was the worst thing that could have happened. His father, in all his wisdom, replied, "Is that so? How do you know what it means?" The next day, as the boy was working in the barn, he heard the sound of horses galloping in the distance. When he looked up he saw his horse leading a herd of wild ponies to him. Seeing this, he ran to the house shouting, "The horse has come back leading a herd. This is the greatest thing that's ever happened!" In all his wisdom, the old man replied once again: "Is that so? How do you know what it means?" That afternoon, the boy decided to tame one of the ponies. As he proudly sat atop the new-found gift, the horse bucked, thro wing the boy to the ground causing a broken collarbone and a fractured arm. As he was placed in his bed by his father, he said, "All those horses coming – that's the worst thing that could have happened." Once again, the old man spoke: "Is that so? How do you know what it means?" The next day, father and son were abruptly awakened by the sound of militia knocking on their door. They were here to take the boy to fight in the civil war. The old man said, "There he is, take him." The captain took one look and said, "He's useless to us," and left. The boy said, "This is the best luck I've ever had." And the old man, in his wisdom replied, "Is that so? How do you know what it means?”*
My own personal take on this ancient philosophy is to add a positive twist to it. My approach to life is that “It is all good, even the bad stuff.” By anticipating that something good will come out of something that appears “bad” I believe I am setting myself up to attract something positive. Or, at the very least I'll think about how a negative event or situation can be turned into a positive. (Okay, so if I'm laid up in bed sick, this must be an opportunity to reflect on life, come up with a new book idea, etc.)
Think about it. Many mistakes have gone on to become huge successes. The chocolate chip cookie was a mistake and what a lovely one! The Post-it™ note was a failed glue that didn't quite stick. Would the old man have seen the potential Post-it™ note success if he had only remained neutral? It may be the surest way to prevent disappointment, but what if you actively engage in turning a negative into a positive? The person who made the failed glue must have had the thought “Hmm... okay, so it isn't really that sticky, but how could that be useful?”
What if we embraced our mistakes and worst problems and dug around to find out how they might be turned into something even better?
Enjoy!
Talane
* Story excerpted from Thinking Body, Dancing Mind by Chungliang Al Huang and Jerry Lynch.
.. Talane Miedaner, MCC
Get free coaching tips at LifeCoach.com
Copyright © 2010 by Talane LLC. All rights reserved.
Coach Yourself to Success Online
Special Introductory Offer - $1 for first 30 days ($19.95 regular price after 30 days)
For years I've had a vision of being able to provide affordable coaching for everyone who wants it. I'm delighted to announce that this vision is now a reality – LifeCoach.com is full of resources, free tips, quizzes, success stories, coaching programs, phone classes and best of all – a brand new, life-changing, 52-week coaching program, Coach Yourself to Success Online. Now you too can experience the benefits of life coaching at a very affordable fee. Check it out and let me know what you thinkTalane's Newsletter
Faye Morgan, Editor faye@lifecoach.com
Talane Coaching Company
www.LifeCoach.com
1-888-4-TALANE (1-888-482-5263) or 407-628-2909
Faye Morgan, Editor faye@lifecoach.com
Talane Coaching Company
www.LifeCoach.com
1-888-4-TALANE (1-888-482-5263) or 407-628-2909
Saturday 6 November 2010
Simple Strategies for Creating an Ideal Life...continued
Talane’s Tip for the Week
Simple Strategies for Creating an Ideal Life . . .continued
Simple Strategies for Creating an Ideal Life . . .continued
I just got back from a week soaking up the glorious sunshine and eating grilled octopus and roasted aubergine in Greece with my husband and two girls. We booked this holiday ages ago as we've finally learned that if we don't travel when the kids have a school holiday, we won't travel. Since we love traveling and this is one of the values we share as a couple, it makes sense to orient our life and work around the school vacations. Sounds simple, but how many of you book your holidays for the year in advance? First, it is often a lot cheaper and second, you will schedule in regular breaks throughout the year. If we hadn't booked this trip, we would have worked through it and been exhausted little pups by the time the Christmas holidays came around. And the schools here in the UK are quite sensible in that they have a week or two break every 6 or 7 weeks. This no doubt prevents burnout in the children as well.
The point of all this is that you need to find out what your top values are (mine are travel, adventure, lead and inspire and beauty) and then orient your life and work around them. This ensures that even if you never have your “ideal” life, you will certainly have a rich and fulfilling life- -and what could be more ideal than that?
Enjoy!
Talane
P.S. If you aren't sure what your top four values are, you can find out by doing the exercises in my book Coach Yourself to a New Career or join our fun online community at LifeCoach.com!
Talane Miedaner, MCC
Author of the international best seller, Coach Yourself to Success (McGraw-Hill, Jan 2000) and The Secret Laws of Attraction
Get free coaching tips at LifeCoach.com
Copyright © 2010 by Talane LLC. All rights reserved.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Coach Yourself to Success Online
Special Introductory Offer - $1 for first 30 days ($19.95 regular price after 30 days)
For years I've had a vision of being able to provide affordable coaching for everyone who wants it. I'm delighted to announce that this vision is now a reality – LifeCoach.com is full of resources, free tips, quizzes, success stories, coaching programs, phone classes and best of all – a brand new, life-changing, 52-week coaching program, Coach Yourself to Success Online. Now you too can experience the benefits of life coaching at a very affordable fee. Check it out and let me know what you think
Simple Strategies for Creating an Ideal Life . . .continued
Simple Strategies for Creating an Ideal Life . . .continued
I just got back from a week soaking up the glorious sunshine and eating grilled octopus and roasted aubergine in Greece with my husband and two girls. We booked this holiday ages ago as we've finally learned that if we don't travel when the kids have a school holiday, we won't travel. Since we love traveling and this is one of the values we share as a couple, it makes sense to orient our life and work around the school vacations. Sounds simple, but how many of you book your holidays for the year in advance? First, it is often a lot cheaper and second, you will schedule in regular breaks throughout the year. If we hadn't booked this trip, we would have worked through it and been exhausted little pups by the time the Christmas holidays came around. And the schools here in the UK are quite sensible in that they have a week or two break every 6 or 7 weeks. This no doubt prevents burnout in the children as well.
The point of all this is that you need to find out what your top values are (mine are travel, adventure, lead and inspire and beauty) and then orient your life and work around them. This ensures that even if you never have your “ideal” life, you will certainly have a rich and fulfilling life- -and what could be more ideal than that?
Enjoy!
Talane
P.S. If you aren't sure what your top four values are, you can find out by doing the exercises in my book Coach Yourself to a New Career or join our fun online community at LifeCoach.com!
Talane Miedaner, MCC
Author of the international best seller, Coach Yourself to Success (McGraw-Hill, Jan 2000) and The Secret Laws of Attraction
Get free coaching tips at LifeCoach.com
Copyright © 2010 by Talane LLC. All rights reserved.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Coach Yourself to Success Online
Special Introductory Offer - $1 for first 30 days ($19.95 regular price after 30 days)
For years I've had a vision of being able to provide affordable coaching for everyone who wants it. I'm delighted to announce that this vision is now a reality – LifeCoach.com is full of resources, free tips, quizzes, success stories, coaching programs, phone classes and best of all – a brand new, life-changing, 52-week coaching program, Coach Yourself to Success Online. Now you too can experience the benefits of life coaching at a very affordable fee. Check it out and let me know what you think
Friday 29 October 2010
More Simple Strategies for Creating an Ideal Life
Talane’s Coaching Tip for the Week
More Simple Strategies for Creating an Ideal Life
Talane Miedaner, MCC
Author of the international best seller, Coach Yourself to Success (McGraw-Hill, Jan 2000) and The Secret Laws of AttractionMore Simple Strategies for Creating an Ideal Life
If you are still struggling to sketch out an ideal life, start by creating the ideal way to start and end each day. How would you like to wake up in the morning? What bedtime routine would be ideal for you? You may not have as much control during the day while in a job, but you can start moving one step closer to the ideal life by making your mornings and evenings ideal. One client envisioned an ideal morning of having freshly made coffee and hot blueberry muffins on her deck overlooking the trees in her back yard while writing in her journal. She realized this was something she didn't have to wait to implement.
Right now, my ideal morning starts when my two little girls climb into bed at 6:30 a.m. for a snuggle and then we go down to make pancakes for breakfast before walking to school. I used to write in my journal in the morning before having children, but now it is easier to do that in the evenings before I go to bed and use the journal to recap the events of the day after a nice long soak in the tub.
What is your ideal morning and evening? Start with one small change in the right direction, even if that is just to make a batch of blueberry muffins and freeze them so you can take one with you to work, that will take you one step closer to living your ideal life.
Enjoy!
Talane
Talane
Talane Miedaner, MCC
Get free coaching tips at LifeCoach.com
Copyright © 2010 by Talane LLC. All rights reserved.
Coach Yourself to Success Online
Special Introductory Offer - $1 for first 30 days ($19.95 regular price after 30 days)
For years I've had a vision of being able to provide affordable coaching for everyone who wants it. I'm delighted to announce that this vision is now a reality – LifeCoach.com is full of resources, free tips, quizzes, success stories, coaching programs, phone classes and best of all – a brand new, life-changing, 52-week coaching program, Coach Yourself to Success Online. Now you too can experience the benefits of life coaching at a very affordable fee. Check it out and let me know what you thinkTuesday 26 October 2010
There is No Place to Get To and Yet There Is
Talane’s Coaching Tip for the Week
There is No Place to Get To and Yet There Is
You can give up striving because there is no place to get to. This is it. And the reason I can say that now with some authority is because I have “arrived” and didn't even realize it over the past three and a half years and might never have realized it except that I happened upon the sketch I had drawn up of my ideal life that must be over 10 years old. If you aren't enjoying the journey to get wherever you think you need to be, then you have really missed the boat and need to seriously consider a very different journey. Some things we sign up for just aren't as glamorous in real life as they are in an ideal life, such as that horse ranch that might look good on paper, but may not be so enchanting when you discover just how much work those horses require.
Now, that being said, there is a point in life at which you have put in place foundations that make a huge difference. This is the point at which you may feel secure, safe or you breathe a sigh of relief. For many people this comes when they have bought their first home or apartment and feel that they have a base that they can now call home. For some it is having 1 to 2 years worth of savings in reserve so they know they can weather most misfortunes that might blow their way. For others it might be when they find the right partner to share life's ups and downs with. In the coaching work, we help all of our clients build a strong personal foundation for their life which includes: having a financial reserve to cushion the bumps in life; having plenty of love from friends and family; completing the past so that you are free to create the future you want; getting rid of the petty annoyances in your life; getting past struggle and out of survival mode; getting your personal and emotional needs met so they no longer run you; discovering your top four values and orienting your life around them. This creates a rock solid foundation from which you can really enjoy life fully and is well worth working on. It might take a year or two to create, but is a worthy goal in and of itself simply because of the peace and strength having such a foundation will give you.
Enjoy!
Talane
P.S. Not sure where to start? Join our wonderful community at LifeCoach.com and start creating your own ideal life. Only $1.00 for 30 days of Coach Yourself to Success Online.
There is No Place to Get To and Yet There Is
You can give up striving because there is no place to get to. This is it. And the reason I can say that now with some authority is because I have “arrived” and didn't even realize it over the past three and a half years and might never have realized it except that I happened upon the sketch I had drawn up of my ideal life that must be over 10 years old. If you aren't enjoying the journey to get wherever you think you need to be, then you have really missed the boat and need to seriously consider a very different journey. Some things we sign up for just aren't as glamorous in real life as they are in an ideal life, such as that horse ranch that might look good on paper, but may not be so enchanting when you discover just how much work those horses require.
Now, that being said, there is a point in life at which you have put in place foundations that make a huge difference. This is the point at which you may feel secure, safe or you breathe a sigh of relief. For many people this comes when they have bought their first home or apartment and feel that they have a base that they can now call home. For some it is having 1 to 2 years worth of savings in reserve so they know they can weather most misfortunes that might blow their way. For others it might be when they find the right partner to share life's ups and downs with. In the coaching work, we help all of our clients build a strong personal foundation for their life which includes: having a financial reserve to cushion the bumps in life; having plenty of love from friends and family; completing the past so that you are free to create the future you want; getting rid of the petty annoyances in your life; getting past struggle and out of survival mode; getting your personal and emotional needs met so they no longer run you; discovering your top four values and orienting your life around them. This creates a rock solid foundation from which you can really enjoy life fully and is well worth working on. It might take a year or two to create, but is a worthy goal in and of itself simply because of the peace and strength having such a foundation will give you.
Enjoy!
Talane
P.S. Not sure where to start? Join our wonderful community at LifeCoach.com and start creating your own ideal life. Only $1.00 for 30 days of Coach Yourself to Success Online.
Wednesday 13 October 2010
Strategies for Creating an Ideal Life
Talane’s Coaching Tip for the Week, October 11, 2010
Strategies for Creating an Ideal Life
I was just working with one client who was struggling with the question, “What do you want?” She spent a few weeks in inquiry and even polled her friends and family and in the end was no clearer than when she started. So we decided to try a different strategy. Instead of starting with a blank page and sketching an ideal life, let's start with the life she has and just work on tweaking and perfecting it a bit. After all, she had many elements that were in fact already ideal – a loving husband, a new puppy, a new home, but some things needed to change. Instead of working 90 hours a week, what would happen if you got your work done efficiently and left at 6 p.m. to be home for dinner? How about swapping the rushed lunch in front of the desk for a 30 minute bike ride at the gym?
Most of us don't need to start over with a whole new plan. A little bit of refining and a few adjustments may be all that is required to turn a less than ideal life into an ideal one. What fine-tuning could you do this week to take your life one step closer to the ideal?
Enjoy!
Talane
P.S. Not sure where to start? Join our wonderful community at LifeCoach.com and start creating your own ideal life. Only $1.00 for 30 days of Coach Yourself to Success Online.
Talane Miedaner, MCC
Author of the international best seller, Coach Yourself to Success (McGraw-Hill, Jan 2000) and The Secret Laws of Attraction
Get free coaching tips at LifeCoach.com
Copyright © 2010 by Talane LLC. All rights reserved.
Strategies for Creating an Ideal Life
I was just working with one client who was struggling with the question, “What do you want?” She spent a few weeks in inquiry and even polled her friends and family and in the end was no clearer than when she started. So we decided to try a different strategy. Instead of starting with a blank page and sketching an ideal life, let's start with the life she has and just work on tweaking and perfecting it a bit. After all, she had many elements that were in fact already ideal – a loving husband, a new puppy, a new home, but some things needed to change. Instead of working 90 hours a week, what would happen if you got your work done efficiently and left at 6 p.m. to be home for dinner? How about swapping the rushed lunch in front of the desk for a 30 minute bike ride at the gym?
Most of us don't need to start over with a whole new plan. A little bit of refining and a few adjustments may be all that is required to turn a less than ideal life into an ideal one. What fine-tuning could you do this week to take your life one step closer to the ideal?
Enjoy!
Talane
P.S. Not sure where to start? Join our wonderful community at LifeCoach.com and start creating your own ideal life. Only $1.00 for 30 days of Coach Yourself to Success Online.
Talane Miedaner, MCC
Author of the international best seller, Coach Yourself to Success (McGraw-Hill, Jan 2000) and The Secret Laws of Attraction
Get free coaching tips at LifeCoach.com
Copyright © 2010 by Talane LLC. All rights reserved.
Monday 4 October 2010
More On Having Your Ideal Life!
Talane’s Coaching Tip for the Week, September 27, 2010
More on Having Your Ideal Life
Last week I mentioned that I had discovered that I was actually living my ideal life and I said I'd share with you another epiphany that I had. You may by wondering, “Geez, how could she have missed the fact that she had her ideal life? Isn't it obvious when you achieve it?” I had thought it would be, but if I hadn't written it down, I might have missed the fact that I had in fact “made it.” How is that possible? Well, when I sketched out my ideal life I was imaging all the ideal elements of it – cuddling two little kids in bed for example, but not the mad scramble to get the kids off to school and arriving late because of a lost shoe that defied all attempts to be found. Or the 2 a.m. wake ups when my three year old has had a bad dream, which wouldn't be so bad except that after I settle her back down I'm wide awake for hours after and end up slogging through the next day. So yes, while I have my ideal life, it is still a very real life with kids who get sick and break their arms and drain pipes that get clogged, etc. So there is a whole lot of maintenance even though I have lots of extra help – the gardener, the au pair, the house cleaner.
The point here is that if you don't write down your ideal life, you may miss the fact that you've actually achieved it and that would be a real shame.
Now, that wasn't actually the second epiphany although it could be. After seeing that I had achieved my vision and feeling rather jubilant for a few minutes my next thought was, “I've achieved this so now I need a whole new vision for a new ideal life! What should I create now?” I suppose that is the coach in me, thinking a new set of goals is now required. But then I realized, wait a minute. I LIKE my life and I don't want to get rid of the kids or my husband or the beach house or my international career or stop writing books. In fact, there wasn't anything I wanted take off my already rather full plate. If anything, to really perfect my life all I needed to do was add in a few hobbies. Instead of tossing my ideal life and picking a brand new one, it is time to stop striving and start enjoying what I've created. What a concept. I felt this amazing sense of peace and almost disbelief. I don't have to strive anymore? It feels a bit odd because for years I've been striving, striving, striving. Now that doesn't mean I won't ever write another book again, but I don't have to. It is a subtle, but wonderful difference. I can simply enjoy my life, my family and friends and my career. This is it! One wise coach had told me early on – you don't start really living until you stop striving. Now here is the bad news – I could have stopped striving years ago as I've had my ideal life for quite a few years now and didn't even realize it! Ha!
Now if this doesn't inspire you to take a few minutes to sketch out an ideal life right now, what will? You may be living your ideal life and not even be aware of that fact simply because you are caught up in the daily maintenance. Stop striving, start living! And the real secret is that you can do that right now, just the way your life is because the present really is perfect.
Enjoy!
Talane
P.S. Not sure where to start? Join our wonderful community at LifeCoach.com and start creating your own ideal life. Only $1.00 for 30 days of Coach Yourself to Success Online.
Talane Miedaner, MCC
Author of the international best seller, Coach Yourself to Success (McGraw-Hill, Jan 2000) and The Secret Laws of Attraction
Get free coaching tips at LifeCoach.com
Copyright © 2010 by Talane LLC. All rights reserved.
More on Having Your Ideal Life
Last week I mentioned that I had discovered that I was actually living my ideal life and I said I'd share with you another epiphany that I had. You may by wondering, “Geez, how could she have missed the fact that she had her ideal life? Isn't it obvious when you achieve it?” I had thought it would be, but if I hadn't written it down, I might have missed the fact that I had in fact “made it.” How is that possible? Well, when I sketched out my ideal life I was imaging all the ideal elements of it – cuddling two little kids in bed for example, but not the mad scramble to get the kids off to school and arriving late because of a lost shoe that defied all attempts to be found. Or the 2 a.m. wake ups when my three year old has had a bad dream, which wouldn't be so bad except that after I settle her back down I'm wide awake for hours after and end up slogging through the next day. So yes, while I have my ideal life, it is still a very real life with kids who get sick and break their arms and drain pipes that get clogged, etc. So there is a whole lot of maintenance even though I have lots of extra help – the gardener, the au pair, the house cleaner.
The point here is that if you don't write down your ideal life, you may miss the fact that you've actually achieved it and that would be a real shame.
Now, that wasn't actually the second epiphany although it could be. After seeing that I had achieved my vision and feeling rather jubilant for a few minutes my next thought was, “I've achieved this so now I need a whole new vision for a new ideal life! What should I create now?” I suppose that is the coach in me, thinking a new set of goals is now required. But then I realized, wait a minute. I LIKE my life and I don't want to get rid of the kids or my husband or the beach house or my international career or stop writing books. In fact, there wasn't anything I wanted take off my already rather full plate. If anything, to really perfect my life all I needed to do was add in a few hobbies. Instead of tossing my ideal life and picking a brand new one, it is time to stop striving and start enjoying what I've created. What a concept. I felt this amazing sense of peace and almost disbelief. I don't have to strive anymore? It feels a bit odd because for years I've been striving, striving, striving. Now that doesn't mean I won't ever write another book again, but I don't have to. It is a subtle, but wonderful difference. I can simply enjoy my life, my family and friends and my career. This is it! One wise coach had told me early on – you don't start really living until you stop striving. Now here is the bad news – I could have stopped striving years ago as I've had my ideal life for quite a few years now and didn't even realize it! Ha!
Now if this doesn't inspire you to take a few minutes to sketch out an ideal life right now, what will? You may be living your ideal life and not even be aware of that fact simply because you are caught up in the daily maintenance. Stop striving, start living! And the real secret is that you can do that right now, just the way your life is because the present really is perfect.
Enjoy!
Talane
P.S. Not sure where to start? Join our wonderful community at LifeCoach.com and start creating your own ideal life. Only $1.00 for 30 days of Coach Yourself to Success Online.
Talane Miedaner, MCC
Author of the international best seller, Coach Yourself to Success (McGraw-Hill, Jan 2000) and The Secret Laws of Attraction
Get free coaching tips at LifeCoach.com
Copyright © 2010 by Talane LLC. All rights reserved.
Thursday 30 September 2010
You Can Have Your Ideal Life!
Talane’s Tip for the Week of September 21, 2010
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Talane’s Coaching Tip for the Week, September 21, 2010
You Can Have Your Ideal Life
I’ve recently had a few huge epiphanies and I thought they might be worth passing along. While in the states this summer at my mom’s house I had the task of cleaning up old tax and business documents I had been storing in her attic. I discovered an old coaching workbook I had saved from my days as a singleton living in my tiny, rented New York City apartment. I had just started my coaching business (this was 14 years ago). In that workbook was an exercise that I still give to my clients to this day – design your ideal life – make a scrapbook, a collage, draw a picture and or write about it in as much detail as possible. Now in my own workbook I found a sketch of my ideal life and I was astounded. I had achieved almost everything I had sketched out. Now mind you, my sketches were simple little stick figures, but there I was dancing with my husband (okay, he doesn’t dance, but he is a wonderful man!), there were two little stick figure kids, a house by the sea, an international speaking career as a best-selling author, a jet plane to represent all my international travels, a horse ranch, and a loft in Manhattan overlooking the East River, and $5 million dollars. I was astonished to see that I had achieved all the most important parts of my sketch. Okay, well I don’t have the apartment in NYC, a horse ranch, nor do I have anything close to $5 million in the bank, but that is the also the good news because it proves that you don’t have to have a million to have your ideal life and a lot of what you think might be ideal really isn’t. Now that I actually do own property (the beach house!) I can tell you it is plenty enough to maintain. I wouldn’t know what to do with a horse ranch and I certainly don’t want to scoop up after any horses – all I really want is to ride a horse on occasion that someone else was looking after. I’d be happy to have $5 million socked away, but not having it hasn’t prevented me from having the important stuff.
So what is the epiphany? First, this ideal life exercise is much more powerful than you may at first realize. Second, you don’t necessarily want everything you may think you want. Third, you don’t need nearly as much money as you think. Fourth, it will take the time it takes, which may not be as fast as you think it should take, but ultimately is the perfect amount of time. Fifth, you don’t have to worry about drawing the wrong thing because you won’t attract the wrong things (like the horse ranch.)
If you haven’t sketched out your own ideal life, I hope this inspires you to do it now!
Enjoy!
Talane
P.S. Next week I’ll share the other huge epiphany!
P.P.S. At the moment, I’m not writing a book, which means that I have space for three coaching clients. If you have ever wanted to work with me, I have a rare opportunity right now. Please contact my assistant, Faye Morgan, at faye@lifecoach.com for more information if you are interested.
Talane Miedaner, MCC
Author of the international best seller, Coach Yourself to Success (McGraw-Hill, Jan 2000) and The Secret Laws of AttractionYou Can Have Your Ideal Life
I’ve recently had a few huge epiphanies and I thought they might be worth passing along. While in the states this summer at my mom’s house I had the task of cleaning up old tax and business documents I had been storing in her attic. I discovered an old coaching workbook I had saved from my days as a singleton living in my tiny, rented New York City apartment. I had just started my coaching business (this was 14 years ago). In that workbook was an exercise that I still give to my clients to this day – design your ideal life – make a scrapbook, a collage, draw a picture and or write about it in as much detail as possible. Now in my own workbook I found a sketch of my ideal life and I was astounded. I had achieved almost everything I had sketched out. Now mind you, my sketches were simple little stick figures, but there I was dancing with my husband (okay, he doesn’t dance, but he is a wonderful man!), there were two little stick figure kids, a house by the sea, an international speaking career as a best-selling author, a jet plane to represent all my international travels, a horse ranch, and a loft in Manhattan overlooking the East River, and $5 million dollars. I was astonished to see that I had achieved all the most important parts of my sketch. Okay, well I don’t have the apartment in NYC, a horse ranch, nor do I have anything close to $5 million in the bank, but that is the also the good news because it proves that you don’t have to have a million to have your ideal life and a lot of what you think might be ideal really isn’t. Now that I actually do own property (the beach house!) I can tell you it is plenty enough to maintain. I wouldn’t know what to do with a horse ranch and I certainly don’t want to scoop up after any horses – all I really want is to ride a horse on occasion that someone else was looking after. I’d be happy to have $5 million socked away, but not having it hasn’t prevented me from having the important stuff.
So what is the epiphany? First, this ideal life exercise is much more powerful than you may at first realize. Second, you don’t necessarily want everything you may think you want. Third, you don’t need nearly as much money as you think. Fourth, it will take the time it takes, which may not be as fast as you think it should take, but ultimately is the perfect amount of time. Fifth, you don’t have to worry about drawing the wrong thing because you won’t attract the wrong things (like the horse ranch.)
If you haven’t sketched out your own ideal life, I hope this inspires you to do it now!
Enjoy!
Talane
P.S. Next week I’ll share the other huge epiphany!
P.P.S. At the moment, I’m not writing a book, which means that I have space for three coaching clients. If you have ever wanted to work with me, I have a rare opportunity right now. Please contact my assistant, Faye Morgan, at faye@lifecoach.com for more information if you are interested.
Talane Miedaner, MCC
Get free coaching tips at LifeCoach.com
Copyright © 2010 by Talane LLC. All rights reserved.
Coach Yourself to Success Online
Special Introductory Offer – $1 for first 30 days ($19.95 regular price after 30 days)
For years I’ve had a vision of being able to provide affordable coaching for everyone who wants it. I’m delighted to announce that this vision is now a reality – LifeCoach.com is full of resources, free tips, quizzes, success stories, coaching programs, phone classes and best of all – a brand new, life-changing, 52-week coaching program, Coach Yourself to Success Online. Now you too can experience the benefits of life coaching at a very affordable fee. Check it out and let me know what you think
Coach Yourself to a New Career: 7 Steps to Reinventing Your Professional Life
Bestselling author Talane Miedaner’s NEWEST book was released in March 2010.Coach Yourself to a New Career offers a step-by-step program to making the right choices about a new career move.
Don’t fear taking the leap into a new career with this seven step program from bestselling author and life coach Talane Miedaner. Whatever the situation or economic environment, Coach Yourself to a New Career gives you the tools to take matters into your own hands by assessing your needs and strengths, finding the right work fit, weighing options and possible sacrifices, and preparing your family for transitions.
Packed with expert advice and helpful examples from her many statistical clients—as well as her own career change process—Miedaner shows how anyone can reinvent their professional life.
Coach Yourself to a New Career:
- Offers a seven-step approach to career reinvention and practical advice for a smooth transition
- Profiles everyday people who achieved career reinvention on their own terms – and what their stories can teach you
- Shows you how to assess your needs and strengths
- Helps you decide what tough decisions or sacrifices you may have to make
- Prepares your spouse or family for transition
To order, visit http://www.lifecoach.com/ or visit your favorite online bookseller.
Free Life Coaching Email Tips
If you are not already signed up for the weekly tip and you’d like to receive the free email coaching every week, sign up for the free coaching tips. These mini coaching tips are based on Talane’s international best-selling book, Coach Yourself to Success. I know that it is easy to get off track or to read a book and then forget about actually doing the exercises. Most people find that receiving one tip a week serves as a gentle and fun reminder to stay focused on their goals and dreams. Take advantage of this great free life coaching service and sign up today!LifeCoach.com’s Guarantee – we will not inundate you with email and we will not sell or distribute your email address to third parties. You have the ability to add or remove yourself from the mailing list at any time.
The Secret Laws of Attraction: The Effortless Way to Get the Relationship You Want
by Talane Miedaner, bestselling author
Use the laws of attraction to effortlessly attain your heart’s desire.
“If you don’t need it, you are more likely to attract it.”
If our emotional needs are unmet, we repel what we most desire. When we’ve fulfilled our deepest needs–such as the need to be cherished, the need to be heard, and the need for harmony–we are naturally more attractive to our current or potential mate.
“Like Attracts Like”
When we are fully living our core values, we effortlessly attract others who share our values.
It sounds simple. The trick is learning how to apply these laws in your everyday life–and international bestselling author and noted life coach Talane Miedaner shows you how. This easy-to-follow guide provides a comprehensive quiz to help you identify your top four emotional needs and includes step-by-step instructions for meeting those needs. Once you start embracing your passion and living your dreams, you instantly become more attractive to others. It’s truly the “effortless” way to attract whatever you most desire.
And it works like magic to rekindle the passion, love and intimacy in existing relationships!
To order, visit http://www.lifecoach.com/ or visit your favorite online bookseller.
McGraw-Hill, July 2008; Paperback; 240 pages
101 great tips can be found in the bestselling book Coach Yourself to Success by Talane Miedaner.
Copyright © 2000 McGraw Hill
To order, visit http://www.lifecoach.com/
Thursday 2 September 2010
Ask for what you really need.
Talane’s Coaching Tip for the Week Raising Your Emotional IQ Instantly: Ask for What You Really Need
One of my clients adamantly refused to ask his friends and family to fulfil his need to be appreciated/valued. He argued that if it were natural to ask someone, then he wouldn't feel this tremendous reluctance to do so. We went back and forth on this topic for weeks until he finally relented and agreed to ask his 8 year old daughter to make him a card that would let him know she appreciated him. His daughter was delighted with this project, made him a card and gave it to him and he felt incredibly appreciated and loved. He then got the courage to ask his other children and his closest friends to appreciate him. Now mind you, this guy was super successful, owned three businesses and reported that he knew his family loved him, but this exercise made a huge difference to his feeling of being appreciated.
Now that I have two children of my own, I can see very clearly that children have no trouble whatsoever asking for what they want and need. My three-year old daughter asks if I'll stroke her around the ear after I tuck her into bed. Although she doesn't articulate her need to be loved, this tender gesture is clearly making her feel loved. And my five year old asks me to sing her a song I made up about 14 angels and loves having her hair stroked. They regularly ask for a cuddle whenever they want one. They know what they need and aren't one bit afraid to ask.
So what happened that as adults we become afraid to ask a loved one to stroke our hair or give us a cuddle or to ask a friend to give us a big hug? We still have the same emotional needs, we just decided to stop asking. Those who never stopped asking are the ones who come across as confident and strong. The ones are those who never ask remain “needy.”
You can instantly turn this around simply by asking for what you really need. If you need more permission, don't believe me, it is already written in the Bible, “Ask and you shall receive.”
Enjoy!
Talane
P.S. If you haven't taken the free Emotional Index Quiz, go right ahead and take it at www.lifecoach.com. You have nothing to lose but a bunch of unmet needs!
Talane Miedaner, MCC
Get free coaching tips at LifeCoach.com
Copyright © 2010 by Talane LLC. All rights reserved.
Coach Yourself to Success Online
Special Introductory Offer - $1 for first 30 days ($19.95 regular price after 30 days)
For years I've had a vision of being able to provide affordable coaching for everyone who wants it. I'm delighted to announce that this vision is now a reality – LifeCoach.com is full of resources, free tips, quizzes, success stories, coaching programs, phone classes and best of all – a brand new, life-changing, 52-week coaching program, Coach Yourself to Success Online. Now you too can experience the benefits of life coaching at a very affordable fee. Check it out and let me know what you thinkCoach Yourself to a New Career: 7 Steps to Reinventing Your Professional Life
Bestselling author Talane Miedaner's NEWEST book was released in March 2010.Coach Yourself to a New Career offers a step-by-step program to making the right choices about a new career move.
Don't fear taking the leap into a new career with this seven step program from bestselling author and life coach Talane Miedaner. Whatever the situation or economic environment, Coach Yourself to a New Career gives you the tools to take matters into your own hands by assessing your needs and strengths, finding the right work fit, weighing options and possible sacrifices, and preparing your family for transitions.
Packed with expert advice and helpful examples from her many statistical clients—as well as her own career change process—Miedaner shows how anyone can reinvent their professional life.
Coach Yourself to a New Career:
- Offers a seven-step approach to career reinvention and practical advice for a smooth transition
- Profiles everyday people who achieved career reinvention on their own terms - and what their stories can teach you
- Shows you how to assess your needs and strengths
- Helps you decide what tough decisions or sacrifices you may have to make
- Prepares your spouse or family for transition
Miedaner shares her own story of launching her coaching business—with careful planning, hard work, commitment and faith. She shows how you can follow other’s examples to achieve the professional life you want.
To order, visit www.lifecoach.com or visit your favorite online bookseller.
Free Life Coaching Email Tips
If you are not already signed up for the weekly tip and you’d like to receive the free email coaching every week, sign up for the free coaching tips. These mini coaching tips are based on Talane’s international best-selling book, Coach Yourself to Success. I know that it is easy to get off track or to read a book and then forget about actually doing the exercises. Most people find that receiving one tip a week serves as a gentle and fun reminder to stay focused on their goals and dreams. Take advantage of this great free life coaching service and sign up today!LifeCoach.com’s Guarantee - we will not inundate you with email and we will not sell or distribute your email address to third parties. You have the ability to add or remove yourself from the mailing list at any time.
The Secret Laws of Attraction: The Effortless Way to Get the Relationship You Want
by Talane Miedaner, bestselling author
Use the laws of attraction to effortlessly attain your heart's desire. "If you don't need it, you are more likely to attract it."
If our emotional needs are unmet, we repel what we most desire. When we've fulfilled our deepest needs--such as the need to be cherished, the need to be heard, and the need for harmony--we are naturally more attractive to our current or potential mate.
"Like Attracts Like"
When we are fully living our core values, we effortlessly attract others who share our values.
It sounds simple. The trick is learning how to apply these laws in your everyday life--and international bestselling author and noted life coach Talane Miedaner shows you how. This easy-to-follow guide provides a comprehensive quiz to help you identify your top four emotional needs and includes step-by-step instructions for meeting those needs. Once you start embracing your passion and living your dreams, you instantly become more attractive to others. It's truly the "effortless" way to attract whatever you most desire.
And it works like magic to rekindle the passion, love and intimacy in existing relationships!
To order, visit www.lifecoach.com or visit your favorite online bookseller.
McGraw-Hill, July 2008; Paperback; 240 pages
101 great tips can be found in the bestselling book Coach Yourself to Success by Talane Miedaner.
Copyright © 2000 McGraw Hill
Copyright © 2000 McGraw Hill
To order, visit www.lifecoach.com
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Talane's Attraction Tip of the Week
Faye Morgan, Editor faye@lifecoach.com
Talane Coaching Company
www.LifeCoach.com
1-888-4-TALANE (1-888-482-5263) or 407-628-2909
Faye Morgan, Editor faye@lifecoach.com
Talane Coaching Company
www.LifeCoach.com
1-888-4-TALANE (1-888-482-5263) or 407-628-2909
Lifecoach
Talane LLC
P. O. Box 149595
Orlando FL 32814-9595
1-888-4Talane
407-628-2909
www.lifecoach.com
Monday 9 August 2010
Raise Your Emotional IQ Instantly.
Talane’s Coaching Tip for the Week. More on Raising Your Emotional IQ Instantly - Part II
Now that You Have Identified Your top 4 Needs...
If you took the free Emotional Index Quiz (link to lifecoach.com homepage) last week, then you have identified your top 4 Personal and Emotional needs. Congratulations! You are now more emotionally intelligent than the vast majority of the population who remain clueless as to their own needs. Good for you!
The next step is to start setting up systems in your life to fulfilthose needs so completely that they effectively disappear. This is how you eliminate any vestiges of neediness, which we know is unattractive. For example, one of my top four needs is to be cherished. One of the systems I have in place to fulfil this need automatically is that I have a house cleaner come once a week. When I come in and find the house immaculate without having lifted a finger, I feel cherished. It is a simple way to satisfy this basic need. Another automatic system that I have set up is a weekly massage. The therapist comes to the house and gives me a massage and then I can go right to sleep afterwards. Heavenly! I also have asked my loved ones to cherish me by telling me what they love about me. And guess what? It works! Now all my closest friends and family know what I need and fulfil my need to be cherished without me having to ask. It just took a bit of effort to ask the very first time.
To start this process, ask five people who already love you and care about you to fulfil one of those top four needs. The first person you ask is the hardest until you get over any feelings of squeamishness or embarrassment. It gets much easier when you realize it isn't the big deal you were making it out to be. Yes, the people who love and care about you, really do want to meet your needs!
Enjoy the process!
Talane
P.S. If you want a full explanation of personal and emotional needs, get The Secret Laws of Attraction: The Effortless Way to Get the Relationship You Want. It has a full blown description of exactly what to do to meet the top twenty most commonly found personal and emotional needs. This may help you if you are struggling to think of what to ask people to do or say to satisfy your needs. To orderget The Secret Laws of Attraction, visit www.lifecoach.com or your favorite online bookseller.
P.P.S. Stay tuned for more on how to fulfil your needs next week...
Author of the international best seller, Coach Yourself to Success (McGraw-Hill, Jan 2000) and The Secret Laws of Attraction
Get free coaching tips at LifeCoach.com
Copyright © 2010 by Talane LLC. All rights reserved.
Coach Yourself to Success Online
Special Introductory Offer - $1 for first 30 days ($19.95 regular price after 30 days)
For years I've had a vision of being able to provide affordable coaching for everyone who wants it. I'm delighted to announce that this vision is now a reality – LifeCoach.com is full of resources, free tips, quizzes, success stories, coaching programs, phone classes and best of all – a brand new, life-changing, 52-week coaching program, Coach Yourself to Success Online. Now you too can experience the benefits of life coaching at a very affordable fee. Check it out and let me know what you thinkCoach Yourself to a New Career: 7 Steps to Reinventing Your Professional Life
Bestselling author Talane Miedaner's NEWEST book was released in March 2010.Coach Yourself to a New Career offers a step-by-step program to making the right choices about a new career move.
Don't fear taking the leap into a new career with this seven step program from bestselling author and life coach Talane Miedaner. Whatever the situation or economic environment, Coach Yourself to a New Career gives you the tools to take matters into your own hands by assessing your needs and strengths, finding the right work fit, weighing options and possible sacrifices, and preparing your family for transitions.
Packed with expert advice and helpful examples from her many statistical clients—as well as her own career change process—Miedaner shows how anyone can reinvent their professional life.
Coach Yourself to a New Career:
- Offers a seven-step approach to career reinvention and practical advice for a smooth transition
- Profiles everyday people who achieved career reinvention on their own terms - and what their stories can teach you
- Shows you how to assess your needs and strengths
- Helps you decide what tough decisions or sacrifices you may have to make
- Prepares your spouse or family for transition
Miedaner shares her own story of launching her coaching business—with careful planning, hard work, commitment and faith. She shows how you can follow other’s examples to achieve the professional life you want.
To order, visit www.lifecoach.com or visit your favorite online bookseller.
Free Life Coaching Email Tips
If you are not already signed up for the weekly tip and you’d like to receive the free email coaching every week, sign up for the free coaching tips. These mini coaching tips are based on Talane’s international best-selling book, Coach Yourself to Success. I know that it is easy to get off track or to read a book and then forget about actually doing the exercises. Most people find that receiving one tip a week serves as a gentle and fun reminder to stay focused on their goals and dreams. Take advantage of this great free life coaching service and sign up today!LifeCoach.com’s Guarantee - we will not inundate you with email and we will not sell or distribute your email address to third parties. You have the ability to add or remove yourself from the mailing list at any time.
The Secret Laws of Attraction: The Effortless Way to Get the Relationship You Want
by Talane Miedaner, bestselling author
Use the laws of attraction to effortlessly attain your heart's desire. "If you don't need it, you are more likely to attract it."
If our emotional needs are unmet, we repel what we most desire. When we've fulfilled our deepest needs--such as the need to be cherished, the need to be heard, and the need for harmony--we are naturally more attractive to our current or potential mate.
"Like Attracts Like"
When we are fully living our core values, we effortlessly attract others who share our values.
It sounds simple. The trick is learning how to apply these laws in your everyday life--and international bestselling author and noted life coach Talane Miedaner shows you how. This easy-to-follow guide provides a comprehensive quiz to help you identify your top four emotional needs and includes step-by-step instructions for meeting those needs. Once you start embracing your passion and living your dreams, you instantly become more attractive to others. It's truly the "effortless" way to attract whatever you most desire.
And it works like magic to rekindle the passion, love and intimacy in existing relationships!
To order, visit www.lifecoach.com or visit your favorite online bookseller.
McGraw-Hill, July 2008; Paperback; 240 pages
101 great tips can be found in the bestselling book Coach Yourself to Success by Talane Miedaner.
Copyright © 2000 McGraw Hill
Copyright © 2000 McGraw Hill
To order, visit www.lifecoach.com
Archives
For Talane’s most recent tips and newsletters click www.lifecoach.com/about-talane and read "Talane's Blogs"
Your comments, suggestions and feedback are always welcome. Feel free to share this tip with friends, just keep the copyright and credits intact. Thanks!
Talane's Attraction Tip of the Week
Faye Morgan, Editor faye@lifecoach.com
Talane Coaching Company
www.LifeCoach.com
1-888-4-TALANE (1-888-482-5263) or 407-628-2909
Faye Morgan, Editor faye@lifecoach.com
Talane Coaching Company
www.LifeCoach.com
1-888-4-TALANE (1-888-482-5263) or 407-628-2909
Lifecoach
Talane LLC
P. O. Box 149595
Orlando FL 32814-9595
1-888-4Talane
407-628-2909
www.lifecoach.com
Monday 5 July 2010
Get On the Path to Financial Freedom!
Talane’s Coaching Tip for the Week, June 28, 2010
Get On the Path to Financial Freedom
My mom once told me that she deliberated whether to buy a nicer cut of meat for dinner or scouring
pads as she didn't have money to do both with three small children and an income of about $12,000
a year. In the end, she bought the nicer cut because she had company – her mother. But after
dinner, her mother asked her where the scouring pads were and my mom thought, ”I can't win.” I'm
very grateful that I don't have to spend time over those sorts of decisions.
Thomas Leonard, a superb coach, once said that you can't be your best if you are under financial
stress. You don't make the best decisions. My husband and I recently sold off a piece of our back
yard for a nice chunk of change. Until this time, we had been operating on the edge financially,
making just enough to get by (admittedly our idea of getting by is rather lavish and includes a
housekeeper, gardener and au pair), but not enough to feel like we were getting ahead. While
I knew that these were the expensive years (two small children, home renovation costs, a big
mortgage, etc.) and that it would get easier over time, that didn't help put my husband at ease when
faced with the monthly bills. Now that we have a decent reserve in place, we are both breathing
a lot easier. It has taken so much pressure off the need to generate money. (We both own our
own businesses and generate the income that we have.) Already, new business opportunities are
appearing. When you don't need it, you are more likely to attract it.
The amazing thing was that this piece of land and the opportunity to develop and sell it has been
right under our noses all the time. We only thought of it when we worried we might lose the house
in the recession and started coming up with ways to save it. This confirms the spiritual saying that
everything you need is right in front of you. It makes me wonder, what else am I not seeing that is
right in front of me? After all, how many years did it take us to put wheels on suitcases? The wheel
has been around since the beginning of history, but we never thought to combine the two until
recently.
It is worth getting on the path to financial freedom (having enough money so that you don't have
to work) for the peace of mind it creates if nothing else. Here is a simple way to get started – play
the Financial Independence Game (Tip 29 in Coach Yourself to Success). Write down ten or more
ideas that could take you to financial freedom. Let's start with $250,000 in savings as a number
to start with. If you found a way to earn or save an extra $100 a day for the next ten years you'd
have $250,000 (not counting weekends or interest earned). Don't worry if the ideas you come up
with seem simple or even silly. Some of the most successful ideas are. The woman who wrote the
book, Everything Men Know about Women, takes the prize, in my opinion, for best idea. The book
is completely blank! It has become a best-seller and enabled her to buy a nice house. The point of
the game is to get you thinking about how you could become financially free. And just by starting
the game, even if that means you start by saving $10 a day, you will be on the path. Open a separate
savings account and put in your $10.00 today. Now write ten possible plans/ideas to become
financially free and pick one to work on now. Keep playing until you crack it and reach financial
freedom.
Enjoy!
Talane
P.S. For support along the way, join the fun at LifeCoach.com and try 30 Days of Coaching for
$1.00!
Talane Miedaner, MCCGet On the Path to Financial Freedom
My mom once told me that she deliberated whether to buy a nicer cut of meat for dinner or scouring
pads as she didn't have money to do both with three small children and an income of about $12,000
a year. In the end, she bought the nicer cut because she had company – her mother. But after
dinner, her mother asked her where the scouring pads were and my mom thought, ”I can't win.” I'm
very grateful that I don't have to spend time over those sorts of decisions.
Thomas Leonard, a superb coach, once said that you can't be your best if you are under financial
stress. You don't make the best decisions. My husband and I recently sold off a piece of our back
yard for a nice chunk of change. Until this time, we had been operating on the edge financially,
making just enough to get by (admittedly our idea of getting by is rather lavish and includes a
housekeeper, gardener and au pair), but not enough to feel like we were getting ahead. While
I knew that these were the expensive years (two small children, home renovation costs, a big
mortgage, etc.) and that it would get easier over time, that didn't help put my husband at ease when
faced with the monthly bills. Now that we have a decent reserve in place, we are both breathing
a lot easier. It has taken so much pressure off the need to generate money. (We both own our
own businesses and generate the income that we have.) Already, new business opportunities are
appearing. When you don't need it, you are more likely to attract it.
The amazing thing was that this piece of land and the opportunity to develop and sell it has been
right under our noses all the time. We only thought of it when we worried we might lose the house
in the recession and started coming up with ways to save it. This confirms the spiritual saying that
everything you need is right in front of you. It makes me wonder, what else am I not seeing that is
right in front of me? After all, how many years did it take us to put wheels on suitcases? The wheel
has been around since the beginning of history, but we never thought to combine the two until
recently.
It is worth getting on the path to financial freedom (having enough money so that you don't have
to work) for the peace of mind it creates if nothing else. Here is a simple way to get started – play
the Financial Independence Game (Tip 29 in Coach Yourself to Success). Write down ten or more
ideas that could take you to financial freedom. Let's start with $250,000 in savings as a number
to start with. If you found a way to earn or save an extra $100 a day for the next ten years you'd
have $250,000 (not counting weekends or interest earned). Don't worry if the ideas you come up
with seem simple or even silly. Some of the most successful ideas are. The woman who wrote the
book, Everything Men Know about Women, takes the prize, in my opinion, for best idea. The book
is completely blank! It has become a best-seller and enabled her to buy a nice house. The point of
the game is to get you thinking about how you could become financially free. And just by starting
the game, even if that means you start by saving $10 a day, you will be on the path. Open a separate
savings account and put in your $10.00 today. Now write ten possible plans/ideas to become
financially free and pick one to work on now. Keep playing until you crack it and reach financial
freedom.
Enjoy!
Talane
P.S. For support along the way, join the fun at LifeCoach.com and try 30 Days of Coaching for
$1.00!
Author of the international best seller, Coach Yourself to Success (McGraw-Hill, Jan 2000) and The Secret Laws of Attraction
Get free coaching tips at LifeCoach.com Copyright © 2010 by Talane LLC. All rights reserved.
Thursday 1 July 2010
Eat Less With No Effort
Talane’s Coaching Tip for the Week, June 14, 2010
Eat Less With No Effort
There is nothing like marriage to teach you about yourself. I grew up eating family-style with my parents and siblings. Mom always made more than enough food and put big bowls on the table and we helped ourselves to whatever we wanted with the one rule that we had to have at least one bite or taste of everything. We also had to clean our plates of whatever we took (not such a good rule and one that I don't use with my own children).
Talane Miedaner, MCCEat Less With No Effort
There is nothing like marriage to teach you about yourself. I grew up eating family-style with my parents and siblings. Mom always made more than enough food and put big bowls on the table and we helped ourselves to whatever we wanted with the one rule that we had to have at least one bite or taste of everything. We also had to clean our plates of whatever we took (not such a good rule and one that I don't use with my own children).
My husband's family eats quite differently. His mother makes exactly one portion for each person and measures everything out and serves up the dinner in the kitchen, pre-loading your plate and setting it on the table ready to eat. There is rarely the opportunity for seconds as there was only one serving in the first place.
I also noticed that my family is on the heavy side (to put it mildly) and my husband's family is pretty skinny. I joked that this has to do with the way we serve food. Well, yesterday I read in the illustrious Waitrose magazine that scientists at Cornell University have proven that this is, in fact, a very effective and relatively painless way to cut your caloric intake by as much as a fifth.
Apparently, if you don't see the food, you are less likely to eat it. A lot less likely. If you only see the food on your plate you natually tend to eat 20% fewer calories than if you have the bowls of food right in front of you. I guess that chance for second helpings is just too tempting to resist!
So there you have it. A quick and easy way to cut the calories without resorting to calorie counting or dieting. So simple!
Enjoy!
Talane Author of the international best seller, Coach Yourself to Success (McGraw-Hill, Jan 2000) and The Secret Laws of Attraction
Get free coaching tips at LifeCoach.com
Copyright © 2010 by Talane LLC. All rights reserved.
Coach Yourself to Success Online
Special Introductory Offer - $1 for first 30 days ($19.95 regular price after 30 days)
For years I've had a vision of being able to provide affordable coaching for everyone who wants it. I'm delighted to announce that this vision is now a reality – LifeCoach.com is full of resources, free tips, quizzes, success stories, coaching programs, phone classes and best of all – a brand new, life-changing, 52-week coaching program, Coach Yourself to Success Online. Now you too can experience the benefits of life coaching at a very affordable fee. Check it out and let me know what you thinkCoach Yourself to a New Career: 7 Steps to Reinventing Your Professional Life
Bestselling author Talane Miedaner's NEWEST book was released in March 2010.Coach Yourself to a New Career offers a step-by-step program to making the right choices about a new career move.
Don't fear taking the leap into a new career with this seven step program from bestselling author and life coach Talane Miedaner. Whatever the situation or economic environment, Coach Yourself to a New Career gives you the tools to take matters into your own hands by assessing your needs and strengths, finding the right work fit, weighing options and possible sacrifices, and preparing your family for transitions.
Packed with expert advice and helpful examples from her many statistical clients—as well as her own career change process—Miedaner shows how anyone can reinvent their professional life.
Coach Yourself to a New Career:
- Offers a seven-step approach to career reinvention and practical advice for a smooth transition
- Profiles everyday people who achieved career reinvention on their own terms - and what their stories can teach you
- Shows you how to assess your needs and strengths
- Helps you decide what tough decisions or sacrifices you may have to make
- Prepares your spouse or family for transition
Miedaner shares her own story of launching her coaching business—with careful planning, hard work, commitment and faith. She shows how you can follow other’s examples to achieve the professional life you want.
To order, visit www.lifecoach.com or visit your favorite online bookseller.
Free Life Coaching Email Tips
If you are not already signed up for the weekly tip and you’d like to receive the free email coaching every week, sign up for the free coaching tips. These mini coaching tips are based on Talane’s international best-selling book, Coach Yourself to Success. I know that it is easy to get off track or to read a book and then forget about actually doing the exercises. Most people find that receiving one tip a week serves as a gentle and fun reminder to stay focused on their goals and dreams. Take advantage of this great free life coaching service and sign up today!LifeCoach.com’s Guarantee - we will not inundate you with email and we will not sell or distribute your email address to third parties. You have the ability to add or remove yourself from the mailing list at any time.
The Secret Laws of Attraction: The Effortless Way to Get the Relationship You Want
by Talane Miedaner, bestselling author
Use the laws of attraction to effortlessly attain your heart's desire. "If you don't need it, you are more likely to attract it."
If our emotional needs are unmet, we repel what we most desire. When we've fulfilled our deepest needs--such as the need to be cherished, the need to be heard, and the need for harmony--we are naturally more attractive to our current or potential mate.
"Like Attracts Like"
When we are fully living our core values, we effortlessly attract others who share our values.
It sounds simple. The trick is learning how to apply these laws in your everyday life--and international bestselling author and noted life coach Talane Miedaner shows you how. This easy-to-follow guide provides a comprehensive quiz to help you identify your top four emotional needs and includes step-by-step instructions for meeting those needs. Once you start embracing your passion and living your dreams, you instantly become more attractive to others. It's truly the "effortless" way to attract whatever you most desire.
And it works like magic to rekindle the passion, love and intimacy in existing relationships!
To order, visit www.lifecoach.com or visit your favorite online bookseller.
McGraw-Hill, July 2008; Paperback; 240 pages
101 great tips can be found in the book Coach Yourself to Success by Talane Miedaner.
Copyright © 2000 McGraw Hill
Copyright © 2000 McGraw Hill
To order, visit www.lifecoach.com
Archives
For Talane’s most recent tips and newsletters click www.lifecoach.com/about-talane and read "Talane's Blogs"
Your comments, suggestions and feedback are always welcome. Feel free to share this tip with friends, just keep the copyright and credits intact. Thanks!
Talane's Attraction Tip of the Week
Faye Morgan, Editor faye@lifecoach.com
Talane Coaching Company
www.lifecoach.com
1-888-4-TALANE (1-888-482-5263) or 407-628-2909
Faye Morgan, Editor faye@lifecoach.com
Talane Coaching Company
www.lifecoach.com
1-888-4-TALANE (1-888-482-5263) or 407-628-2909
Lifecoach
Talane LLC
P. O. Box 149595
Orlando FL 32814-9595
1-888-4Talane
407-628-2909
www.lifecoach.com
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